Girl I've been dating said no to a suggested trip

[CloudyDreamer]

I been dating this girl for two weeks. We're both very busy and we have conflicting schedules so we see each other on average once a week, sometimes twice. I guess you could call it just casual dating, at least I am sure that's how she sees it. She's very conservative (not religious) and traditional. During our dates, we cuddle and stuff but the thing is, she never reciprocates. But also, she never recoils either. She lets me touch her and seems to be fine with it. I kissed her once on the lips and again, no reciprocation but she didn't mind either or turn away. She just smiled. Since she didn't reciprocate, I didn't try to kiss her again although I'm still physically affectionate with her.

She's always said yes to our outings unless she had a very good reason like work or school and she'd suggest alternatives if she had something to do. Up until today.

I wanted to take the relationship a step further. I have a very busy career and it's not often I can book an entire week off. I asked her if she wanted to take a trip with me somewhere. This is the first time she's said no to me. She said "I prefer to go with girls." The thing is, she's free that week as well but ya, she doesn't want to go with me. That much is obvious. I don't think she's comfortable sharing a hotel room and bed with me and living in close physical proximity.

I'm very down about this. I'm trying to gradually take our relationship further and escalate but this is the first time I've been turned down. I've been planning to sit down with her and asking her to be exclusive and go steady but after this setback, I'm not sure I can work up the guts to.

Now that I think back to our dates, I realize I might have viewed the times we had through rose-tinted glasses. One example that standouts. On our dates, like during dinner or something, she'd text a lot with her friends/family. I understand if it's an emergency or it's urgent but she seemed to do it casually. I think that's pretty much an example of how casually she sees our relationship.

The question, should I cut my losses now before I fall more deeply for her and get heartbroken or should I talk to her about this? The thing is, I don't want to come off as needy. She's a very busy girl and the last thing I want to do is interrupt her day with "Hey, I'm feeling insecure and I need to know where I stand with you." That would annoy most girls I bet.

Any advice?

[Agnus]

You'd better find out why she prefers to go with girls. You never know if any other girl will say the same. Maybe, she sees something in you that you are unaware of? If she replies something stupid or insincere, dump her. She's not a dependable person.

[basilandthyme]

I'm confused. You're talking about having a very busy career....but the two of you sound like a 16yo and an 18yo. She sounds like she's never been kissed and you sound like you've got minimal experience in dating.

Anyway, you're approaching this all wrong for a girl who's conservative. She's not ready for a physical relationship. And you? Well, you're just rushing things at an outrageous pace.

She's wise to not be going away with you after only dating for two weeks. I mean, you could be an axe murderer for all she knows. You didn't seriously expect her to say 'yes' did you? You're also talking about falling more deeply for her and being insecure......mate, it's only been 2 weeks!!! At present, you should be looking for signs that you are or are not compatible...not rushing headlong into falling for her.

You need to chill. Take it slow. See other people until you know where you stand. And if you don't like her conservative outlook, then end things and find someone else. Oh, and if you don't like her texting while on a date, then don't take her out again. It's really this simple.

[HeartIsAching]

You'd better find out why she prefers to go with girls. You never know if any other girl will say the same. Maybe, she sees something in you that you are unaware of? If she replies something stupid or insincere, dump her. She's not a dependable person.

Pay no attention to Anus. She's either a religious freak or a troll... and I'm leaning towards troll.

[HeartIsAching]

I'm confused. You're talking about having a very busy career....but the two of you sound like a 16yo and an 18yo. She sounds like she's never been kissed and you sound like you've got minimal experience in dating.

Anyway, you're approaching this all wrong for a girl who's conservative. She's not ready for a physical relationship. And you? Well, you're just rushing things at an outrageous pace.

She's wise to not be going away with you after only dating for two weeks. I mean, you could be an axe murderer for all she knows. You didn't seriously expect her to say 'yes' did you? You're also talking about falling more deeply for her and being insecure......mate, it's only been 2 weeks!!! At present, you should be looking for signs that you are or are not compatible...not rushing headlong into falling for her.

You need to chill. Take it slow. See other people until you know where you stand. And if you don't like her conservative outlook, then end things and find someone else. Oh, and if you don't like her texting while on a date, then don't take her out again. It's really this simple.

And frankly, the "not reciprocating" part makes me think they're not compatible... at all.

[Wakeup]

You've been on two dates with her. I'd not go on a week trip with you either. For all I know you could be an axe murderer, a BDSM master, a freak of nature.

She DOES.NOT.KNOW.YOU. enough to be doing such things in my estimation.

Further. You've been on two dates. You say you've been dating two weeks with an average once a week date. Thats 'two' times you've been in her company. Am I right? If I am, then perhaps she's not warmed up to you yet? Perhaps she's liking you so far but not sure about you and doesn't want you to think that she's ready for sex when she isn't.

I ask, how can you even know if you're compatible after two meets? Answer: You can not. Not from where I'm sitting anyway.

In this day and age of meet and ****, I think her reaction of not wanting to go on a week vacation with you after two meets is rather refreshing.

I'm feeling insecure and I need to know where I stand with you."

At this point you don't 'stand' anywhere with her... and she shouldn't with you either. Keeeeeerist! It's been two WEEKS.

[4 ratties]

She doesn't even touch u or kiss u and u invited her to stay in a hotel with u?
I see two conclusions
1) she just isn't into you yet. Maybe once she really starts falling for you, she will be more affectionate.
Or 2) she is just not an affectionate person and u will be left with a relationship where u don't get affection and sex.


It's probably the first conclusion though. She hasn't had time to even decide if she wants u as her boyfriend.
Just wait it out and see how things go.