What is going through his mind?

[Siri]

Hello

I must say that having these forums are a stress relief in a way because it provides us the opportunity to "talk" with someone to get some emotional relief- there are certain things that we can't talk to people in our lives.

I have developed strong feelings for a guy at work. Both of us have long term partners. Recently I saw on his Facebook that he has a baby. I am not a friend on his FB so only sees his profile pics and all of them are with his baby and his partner no where to be seen.

When we talk now and then every single cell in my body tells me that he's crazy about me- known him for 4 yrs now and when we chat he is so gentlemanly-the way he smiles -his body language- his tone of voice - becomes deeper, slower and soft very different to when he's with others. He has never spoken anything inappropriate with me and never told me he liked me.

Sometimes we lock eyes across the room- he does not smile,the look is either fear or frustration I feel- maybe that's what he sees in my eyes too bec I don't smile in these instances.

Recently he resigned. I took him out to lunch to say goodbye bec in my mind we were friends although we never spoke of anything personal. That day he was even more gentlemanly his voice deeper slower - gave me the impression he really cared- we had a long lunch but he did not make a move. We spoke of personal things too even about our partners- he did not mention his baby though.

I have already decided to move on from my relationship with my current partner as I don't see it's fair by him if I have feelings for another. The following day I emailed my work friend that I think I have a big crush on him and I am sad he is leaving and will miss him- also wrote he is one of the most decent guys I've met- it took him an hour to email back and he thanked me for the complement and wrote not sure what to say but he thinks we have a pretty good relationship and he enjoyed our chats. He said he liked to keep in touch and sure we will end up working for the same company again. That's it- not sure whether it was a rejection or 'we need more time to get to know each other'.

I am so confused- my instincts were so out of whack.

Would love to hear a guys view on this..

Thanking in advance,

[HeartIsAching]

I think you were perceiving things that way because you wanted them that way. This is what's wrong with "signs and signals". Your one direct communication on the matter put that to rest, which is pretty obvious. If he wanted something more, he would've said something beyond "Thanks for the compliment" and "I've enjoyed our chats". He's just not into you at all, and wanted to let you down easy.

He probably thinks you're pretty, and occasionally got caught looking.

[Boisdevie]

When we talk now and then every single cell in my body tells me that he's crazy about me

You're kidding yourself.

[Siri]

He probably thinks you're pretty, and occasionally got caught looking.

People have told me I am quite attractive, and this guys partner is quite average in terms of looks (but I am sure has a beautiful soul) . Even this guy is an average looking guy who is quite shy. For some reason I was drawn to him - What does pretty good relationship mean?

[HeartIsAching]

The only relationship you had was a professional one - you weren't even FB friends... and he's satisfied with that.

[Siri]

We were Facebook friends one time but like 2 yrs ago I removed him bec I wanted to move on and I found myself FB stalking him.

[Boisdevie]

I wanted to move on and I found myself FB stalking him.

Keep this in mind when you're convincing yourself that he's got the hots for you. Stalking somebody on FB is not normal.

[Sarah_S]

Boisdevie is right this is not normal, move on already. have a life, he is on his side he also has a kid now. live your life now.