How to get her out of my mind?

[brighterrerie]

Firstly I would like to apologize for this long message but all these things are important to write although I tried to be as short as I can.

Okay here is the deal.

There was a girl I had a major crush on in my high school 2003 (At least I considered it as a crush) and she’d known that very well. I was a geek kind of boy that time so I was too afraid to talk to her so when we passed high school I moved to different city and engaged in life too much but didn’t stop thinking about her. I changed a lot since my high school and became a well behaved and cool guy so I made some girlfriends to get my crush out of my mind but it didn’t worked I had very long term relationships but never stopped thinking about my crush even for a single day. It’s now 2012 and I had 5-6 girlfriends since then yet still I can‘t stop thinking about her due to this I never take any of my relationship serious. (I never thought about any of my past girlfriends).

I ran into a common friend couple of years ago and she told me that my crush was interested in me when we were in high school and that made me feel terrible and I think about her even more since then.

NOW I heard from one of my old friend that my crush moved to the same city I live in couple of months ago which became more insufferable for me.

At present I’ve a very sweet and caring girlfriend we have over a year of relationship and I like her too much but still I can’t stop thinking about my high school girl, what is wrong with me I really want to forget about her move on to with my life but I can help but thinking and thinking.

I don’t talk to my friends about her as I know they will made fun of me so I don’t.

Please advice what to do I don’t want to talk to her or to see her and want to completely get her out of my mind. I don’t want my thoughts to affect my present relationship which had happed before also.

Please advise me what to do I need to see a psychiatrist or something or is there any other way.

Thanks in advance.

[steviej]

Because you never got to know your crush properly, you've put her on a pedestal in your mind where she is absolute perfection and nothing else compares.

You have to stop enforcing this cycle of behaviour, stop daydreaming how perfect she is and 'if only...' Scenarios. As soon as you start thinking about her force yourself to either concentrate on something else or think very negative things about her.

It is not fair to your current girlfriend to be in this frame of mind. Concentrate your attentions on her, be affectionate and either make the relationship work or cut her loose until you've sorted your head out.

[searock]

Because you never got to know your crush properly, you've put her on a pedestal in your mind where she is absolute perfection and nothing else compares.

This is true. Whenever you start thinking about her, try to think about the things that made her "human", her flaws etc.

I also strongly suggest you talk to your girlfriend about her. Talking about it will help to relieve the huge expectations and feelings that you have built up during the years.

[Eddie Fews]

Hey man, if its helps I can promise you that being with the new girl will be no where near as awesome as you have it planned out in your head. Although, I would encourage you to reach out and contact her... Because you never know.. And if this is something thats been a plague in your mind for the past 9 years something should of been done about it by now. Facebook her; contact mutual friends and get her number and reach out to her...

After all, rejection is better than regret, we get over rejection in hours, regret sticks with you for the rest of your life.

[steviej]

Do NOT talk to your current girlfriend about this! Not unless you want to hurt her and suddenly find yourself single...