Help!! Confused and need your thoughts!! I think I'm in love with my boss!!

[mystery_man1199]

Okay, maybe 'In love' is a bit of a strong phrase to use, but I definitely have a feelings for her and I am confused and conflicted about it.

I'm 30 and single and my boss is 43 and she is divorced.

My boss and I actually have a really good working relationship, and a good personal rapport too. I like her a lot as a person, and I respect her professionally, and I think she would say the same about me. We text each other when not in work and generally get on well together.

So about three months ago I confronted her and asked that when I leave the company at the end of the year if anything romantic could happen between us, She replied with something along the lines of 'Your a really nice guy and and I'm not really a nice person and so on' so I replied with 'Thank you for your honesty'. We had a laugh and a joke as we do and have become better friends which is a surprise as I was expecting an awkwardness to it all.

So since then we have both attended a work related wedding and a birthday party, seperately obviously, but we found ourselves sitting next to each other and carrying on with conversations about everything and nothing. We found ourselves going for cigarettes together and bouncing of each other in front of our work colleagues, in the 'out-of-the-office' environment.

The wedding is when I first got these strong feelings that something was definitely there, when a family member of the couple asked how long we had been together!! To which either of us didnt form a reply straight away. I also gave her a lift home at the end of the evening which she requested before I had even offered.

So the big birthday!! I'd been on leave the week of the party and had no idea that she would be there as the person who's birthday it was, was not well aquainted with the boss, so I was surprised when I came back from the bar to find her and one of her personal friends sitting there. An hour or so went by and the party was progressing well, when more people turned up and sat in my seat and others around it. So looking for somewhere to sit she pulls up a chair, pats on it, basically wanting me to sit next to her, so I do!!

To say we were close is an understatment, I cannot say for sure if it was a concious effort but when I sat down, she adjusted herself for parts of her body, namely her back and bum to sort of lean on me.

We danced together, kept looking for and at each other when one of us left the room and came back and I feel we really connected. There were periods of looking into each others eyes and various kisses on the cheek (from her) and touches to arms and shoulders. A drink was also spilled and ran off the table onto her legs and as a kind gesture I grabbed a buffet napkin, picked her legs up one at a time and dried them off. However the sceptic in me also says the drink was flowing, I hardly drank due to driving.

So the end of the night came and the taxi picked her and her friend up and took them home.

That night and the following day/night I could not get her out of my head and lost a fair few hours sleep trying to sort through the confusion - Are we just friends or does she want something more!? Questions and theories entered my highly analytical brain a million times over through the next 36 hours.

So Monday morning and I come into the office to see her in her office doing her usual Monday morning routine, so as usual I go into her office and ask her how her weekend went. She became instantly flustered and started straightening papers, looking through her bag for god knows what, all the while trying not to look in my general direction until I started to walk out and she looked up and gave me a huge awkward smile. It seemed a very awkward moment.

I had a work related message from her about half 9 that evening. When we had finished I asked her why she had seemed so on edge - She explained she had things on her mind and was a born worrier and always liked to be one step ahead, which perplexed me as I had always seen her as a woman who exudes confidence.

That made my feelings and confusion so strong that I'm here writing this article and asking for an insight into this... Well I don't know what it is!?

Help!! I'm going out of my mind!!

Also must add that an office romance is out of the question for both of us as we have similar views on working and personal relationships. That is why I asked her when I left the company if there was a chance.

[IndiReloaded]

Calm down, Cowboy. First thing: when your emotions run high, take a break from any decision-making.

Second thing - when a woman tells you she isn't very nice, and when she says things like "I'm high strung", you'd better believe it. Looking confident is much easier than being confident. People who are truly confident know when to ask for help.

Think about it.

[searock]

I think she didn't want to say that you might be going out when you leave the company because that would have created expectations from your part, and it would have made it even more awkward at work. Also, she might have just been looking for attention, at the party, and that's why she flirted with you. In any case, even if she likes you, the fact remains that you both don't want an office romance. If you really want to ask her out again, you should wait until you actually do leave the company.

[Boisdevie]

Also remember that she's way older than you. The idea of dating a woman 13 years older than me = yuk.