Girl i'm seeing/Girlfriend is facebook messaging her EX?

[GhostsCantSee]

Ok, so, this girl im seeing, she was my girlfriend, we split up half a year ago cause she kissed some other guy! See my other post for the details but i still haven't forgiven her but im given things a shot as she says all she wants is a life with me etc.

So, last night, we're watching tele and she ut the blue tells me she bumped into her EX and spoke to him for 5/10 minutes, i wasn't overly concerned and thought it was nice she'd tell me that as she wasn't talking about him, felt like she was just letting me know. But then, i see on facebook she is now friends with him, but instinctively tells me she only told me to explain the reason why they're friends again.
Then when she was out the room i see a message pop up on her phone from him just talking about his year and how he is etc.

He's got a girlfriend etc himself, but i'm not sure with what's gone on earlier on in the year with me and her that i have a right to be annoyed with this? I feel abit pissed off and annoyed she's messaging him on facebook without telling me, do i have to right to bring this issue up? I feel like she should be doing anything she can to build the trust up with him again, not have her ex on facebook and speak to him!!

thoughts?

[bcgirl]

She is a slut. She kissed another guy u forgave her. She added her ex to FB. U never said anything...it's only a matter of time till she cheats Again

[Daven Tenorio]

Ghost... how old are you, and how old is your GF?

What I may tell you, may not be what you want to hear, but I think its probably going to save you alot of time and heartache, not just with this girl, but anyone girl down the road.

You need to define your own SELF WORTH. Set expectations with YOURSELF first, before you can expect anyone else to see value in you.

Ask yourself, why are you with her if you dont trust her? why did you take her back if you felt betrayed the first time? Would this "EX" be a big deal if it had not been for the fact that she kissed another guy earlier this year?

... I ask you these things because I think that you have trust issues with her. I think you simply took her back, without defining any boundaries or establishing your role in the relatinship. does she have any reason to fear stepping over those boundaries again if you havent defined them from the last time she did?

With that all being said, her messaging an ex boyfriend could be innocent. It doenst automatically mean she has an agenda. but thats not really the issue here. A relationship that lacks trust is enivitably going to fail, and fail miserably.

[GhostsCantSee]

Agreed, trust for me, is the most important part of a longg happy relationship, this is why we aren't technically 'exclusive' right now, but even being that, she swears she wouldn't go anywhere near anyone else and she learnt 100 lessons in that ridiculous kiss she did.

I'm 23, she's 25.
I didn't just forgive her with open arms, we went through months of arguements and anger, (well i did) And i still haven't forgiven it. And even 6 months on she still knows the score.
She explains to me if that kiss even meant the tiniest of things to her, she'd of been gone by now. Which i can see her point, but i never let her justify the kiss, and never put my guard down to her. She's fully aware i have no trust, but me and her have something special, something that goes years back. I just want the trust to come back over time.

[HeartIsAching]

Ok, so, this girl im seeing, she was my girlfriend, we split up half a year ago cause she kissed some other guy! See my other post for the details but i still haven't forgiven her but im given things a shot as she says all she wants is a life with me etc.

So, last night, we're watching tele and she ut the blue tells me she bumped into her EX and spoke to him for 5/10 minutes, i wasn't overly concerned and thought it was nice she'd tell me that as she wasn't talking about him, felt like she was just letting me know. But then, i see on facebook she is now friends with him, but instinctively tells me she only told me to explain the reason why they're friends again.
Then when she was out the room i see a message pop up on her phone from him just talking about his year and how he is etc.

He's got a girlfriend etc himself, but i'm not sure with what's gone on earlier on in the year with me and her that i have a right to be annoyed with this? I feel abit pissed off and annoyed she's messaging him on facebook without telling me, do i have to right to bring this issue up? I feel like she should be doing anything she can to build the trust up with him again, not have her ex on facebook and speak to him!!

thoughts?

She's already demonstrated that she's willing to cheat. You've also demonstrated that you're willing to take her back anyway. Bad things come of this... she had no real consequences for her actions, and it's likely she'll do it again.

As a result of this, you don't trust her - as witnessed by you violating her privacy and looking at her phone. Without trust, you've got nothing worth preserving. It's time for you to move on. I'd suggest that in the future you not accept cheating behavior.

[GhostsCantSee]

Granted, I'm not sure if I am misunderstood here but I certainly didn't let her get away with no consequences, we broke up 'officially'. In terms of stuff I said to her I put her through hell. I didn't just ignore it can take her back, I still to this day remind her what she did to me. She promises me she won't ever put herself in a position to cheat again, I don't say I know you won't I argue with it. Tell her I don't believe her until time has proven otherwise.

[mrFrog]

What are the boundaries you set for her after her cheating experience? Did you tell her that she'll lose you forever if she does that again? Officially breaking up may not be enough for this girl if she's not aware that the thing she's done is totally wrong.

[HeartIsAching]

Granted, I'm not sure if I am misunderstood here but I certainly didn't let her get away with no consequences, we broke up 'officially'. In terms of stuff I said to her I put her through hell. I didn't just ignore it can take her back, I still to this day remind her what she did to me. She promises me she won't ever put herself in a position to cheat again, I don't say I know you won't I argue with it. Tell her I don't believe her until time has proven otherwise.

But you took her back - consequence negated. All she had to do was beg and plead a bit and she got to have her cake and eat it too.

[GhostsCantSee]

Of course, i've made it clear if she cheated again it's over and she is fully aware of that and even said she'd thought she'd thrown the relationship away along with the guilt after she did it.

I'm not defending her, i ****ing hate what she did!!! I trusted her to the moon and back, and she let some guy ruin it for us.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Dude, just admit you. You are a cold bitch. If she cheated again, you would take her back again, else you would just call it off now.

[GhostsCantSee]

Think what you will, i know myself i wouldn't ever take her back, i haven't even take her back 6 months on, i'm not making myself exclusive to her, but shes making herself exclusive to me, i don't think i'll ever be in an 'official' relationship with her for years to come because of this kiss.

[GhostsCantSee]

16/17, i wish. I'm 23, shes 25.