Any thoughts?

[terryjoem2005]

4 years ago I married the love of my life and she said the same thing, that I was meant for her, also. Well, these past 5 or 6 months we had been arguing over little stupid things. But, it was never anything big. We always made up and were in love, again. Then i screwed up. One night we were fighting and I let my temper get the better of me and told her "i am through with this relationship". Those were words spoken in anger and I have since apologized. But she was hurt real bad by those words. So, we decided to split from each other and just take a break. Well, when we split she acted like we werent even going to be friends. So, I left her alone for about a week. One week was all I could take without her in my life. So, I started calling, leaving emails, and texts. She wouldnt talk to me, return emails or texts. This went on for about 2 miserable weeks. But 4 days ago I called her and asked her if we could talk and she mnet me. We got along great and even shared some good laghs together. I have fallen more in love with her since the break up than ever before. She says she still has feelings for me but, she doesn't know if she wants to get back into the relationship. I am not pushing her to make a decision. 2 days ago we hugged for the first time since we split. She leaned in to kiss me and I responded back. So, the last two days, we have been hugging and kissing (not just a peck on the lips or cheek, either). Then yesterday we slept together for the first time since early August. She told me to not take that as a sign that she was taking me back. So, here is the dilemna. I found a place to live since we split and she didnt. She has moved in with her uncle. She hates it there. She says she wants her own place (she has a son, 10 yrs old). So, at first when we werent talking she said she was looking for a 2 bedroom apt/house. Now, since we have been talking and hanging out, she has switched her thoughts from a 2 bedroom to a 3 bedroom and 2 bath (I have a son that lives with me). She keeps saying that "we" need to get a place with 3 bed and 2 baths. She even asked me to go look at a couple of places for "us". BUT SHE WONT COMMIT to getting back together with me, or at least say it. She says she doesn't know what she wants. She said I hurt her real bad with the "i am through" tirade and that she doesnt want to be nice to me. But she finds it hard to not be nice to me. She admits she loves me and also admits that she is having a hard time telling me. IS SHE JUST PLAYING HARD TO GET, or TRYING TO GET BACK AT ME FOR HURTING HER? Does all this sound like all will be ok if I just give it time? Or does it look like I am being played? Am I worrying about nothing? I just want my wife back. And I will do anything to get her back.

[lanana.banana]

you really hurt her, and she doesnt want to be hurt again.
its a defence mechanism.
dont push her, you will get her back if you can prove to her that you actually didnt mean to say that, not just "didnt mean to".

[Agape]

"She said I hurt her real bad with the "i am through" tirade and that she doesnt want to be nice to me."

Well you were married for a few years and then you actually said you were done . . . it's not her commitment problem, it was yours! . . . I understand people can say stuff out of anger, but seriously, such things cut deep - especially from a husband.

I don't think she's trying to do anything bad on purpose, she's just sad and confused.