His clique resents me, dumped from a 1 1/2 year relationship over text...

[fashionbraces]

Hi guys.

I'm about a week into this breakup, and i want to bitch bitch bitch but facebook, twitter and tumblr are all too public. I'm glad i found you.

Me an my ex moved in together too fast. We were sleeping together for about a year very casually and then immediately moved in when we became a couple. I love him very much, he's been my best friend for two years. He has always had these close girlfriends, one who even lived with us for the first month before moving out and leaving us be. Lets call her jane.

Anyway, the moving in obviously had an affect on sex an we would never deal with our problems because we were afraid of having to see each other day, so tension fueled day he broke up with me. We were still living together, still sleeping in the same bed, until one night he went out with Jane and ended up sleeping with some girl and leaving me alone at home. I freaked out and we had a huge fight, he had me pinned down on the bed and then in the heat of anger tried to have sex with me so i struggled out and he ended up with a scratch on his face.

The next few weeks were awful, his family, his friends, all viewed me as a violent and unpredictable person and were all advising him to stop seeing me. He moved out and into his own place and immediately the sense of personal space felt fantastic for both of us and we started seeing each other quietly again. The sex became explosive and amazing. I talked with my friends and family and he fit in comfortably in my life again. However, though the letter i wrote his parents had them forgiving me, his friends would not move past the "violent" outburst. I tried to contact Jane several times to clear the air with her but for the next month and half she would insist she did not want any contact with me.

Finally I told my boyfriend i did not feel comfortable with their relationship. I felt like she emotionally replaced me in the breakup and i did not trust her. It caused a few arguments until he eventually agreed to take a two week break from seeing her while we worked on rebuilding our relationship.

Then, this weekend, i have to work at a club taking photos, and they both show up in a group together. I was surprised and hurt and he approched me. I didn't want to look at him in the eye or talk to him, so when he said "do you want me to go home" i blurted out "yes", and he was walking down the block.

I held off for about two hours before i approched her, probably a little too agressivley and asked "Why won't you talk to me". She doesn't say anything to me but makes a weird face and the whole clique swarms around her and tells me to leave her alone. I ask "Just be an adult and talk to me" and they all shoo me away. She continues to remain at the club for the rest of the night, i approach her again and say "it's just words, talk to me" and she refuses until a bouncer comes up and tells me they'll kick me out if i approach her again.

The next day my boyfriend doesn't talk to me, even though i call him and message him several times. I get a phonecall from the police on behalf of Jane telling me if I ever speak to her again there will be criminal charges laid. Even though there was not one incident of violent threat ever. The next day i don't message him at all until 11pm and i say why haven't you talked to me? He texts me "i'm done" and says he can't talk to me face to face about it and that i should respect that.

Another 50 hours has passed since that incident. I've blocked him from facebook and twitter, deleted his number off my phone, and have not attempted to contact him since. We don't even talk through text or facebook chat usually so to be dumped in that manner is insulting.

SO anyway. I'm sad as hell, i feel very honestly that this is the man i want to work through everything with and stand by his side till we die. He is a huge part of me and, well i could go on but I love him.

Will I ever be able to be with him again when his clique despises me?
How crazy am I being?

Thanks for any advice guys.

[Boisdevie]

How crazy am I being?

On a scale of 1 to 10? I'd say a good 9.5.

[fashionbraces]

please elaborate, i could use it.

[caligirl23]

Hmmm...honestly, with so much toxicity coming from the people he cares about regarding you, there is no way I see this working. The fact that he showed up in a group with jane showed very little towards your feelings. It was disrespectful on his behalf and you, in turn, came off looking crazy. If someone says they don't want to talk to you, believe them! Don't push. You are very aggressive in everything that you have done. The physical act of scratching him came from what was probably a very intense verbal fight. The passion in sex with him even has aggression in it. It doesn't come off well at all and I don't think there is a way to salvage it. Even the contact you insist on having with him is aggressive. A healthy relationship should not have this much anger and aggression. You will only look like a nutcase if you try contact again. Stop now.