We met in college and fell in love. After 2 years of being very happy together, we graduated. We found jobs but she moved to another city and found it very toug to deal with a new place and an unsupportive boss. Soon, in about 4-5 months, she went into depression and started acting very moody and mean.
In the meanwhile, I was having a tough time with my new job, with long hours but enjoying the work. She would call me constantly at all times and get very angry at me if I couldn't talk to her. She asked me often to choose between my job and her and I told her that wasnt a fair choice. I would visit her often, but things would get worse everytime I would come back.
I helped her find a job in the same city where I was and she started to settle down and seemed happier. After a year's time she found the job to be annoying and the fact I got even busier even more annoying. She kept fihgintg with me and told me how i was a workaholic. She felt that I was moving up in my career while she was wasting her time. She quit her job and moved to Germany to pursue a PhD. I supported her and started looking for a job in Germany even though i didnt want to move there.
In 3 months time she again didnt like Germany and got a banking job in England and moved there. Once again, she started finding that she was still at a relatively junior role while I had by then started making serious progress and money.She constantly compared herself with others, and while she was actually doing extremely well (making upwards to $120K) she would keep brining herself down. I agreed to move to London and find a job there in a years' time.
During all of this, i.e. the total 5 years in this relationship, we've spent the last 3 dealing with her career + depression issues and in the last 1 year I told her that I couldnt do the "supporting boyfriend" thing anymore because it had just gotten too much and I never signed up for it. She was a beautiful confident woman when we starting going out and had turned into a moody, underconfident, and overweight (she took to food during all her problems) lady in 4 years
We again fought last week about her problems and I told her I wont move to London because I cannot give up a great career for a relationship which is on the brink. And I also told her that her weight issues really botherred me and she needs to lose the flab.
Am I an ass for saying this? I really get put off by the fact she has gained so much weight and is always cribbing about her life. What should i do??? I feel like I have invested 5 years and if I break up now it will be a waste. but i cant be in a relationship by a neurotic person. I feel that at 26 years of age, she should take far more care of herself....
help!