Low Self Confidence In Relationships

[ruth]

Hi,

I remember there was this point in my life where I would date guys and I would feel complete confidence,..words like "i am skinny, I am pretty, I am intelligent, I have everything going for me" would run through my head, I was only 18 to maybe 21 or so. When I turned 20 I met this guy who i fell madly in love with. We had an incredibly turbulent relationship that last four years. He was defiantely emotionally abusive to me over the years. It took me a long time to get my drivers license, and he would make fun of that. He would say that there was nothing going for me, that I wasn't succeding, but he would say these things after a night of drinking, and then forget the entire thing the next day. I found it easy to forgive him, I'd tell myself, he was drunk, he didn't know any better. We dated all those years and I know of at least one time that he cheated on me, but it's definately possible there was more times than that. In the end he broke up with me citing "he didn't want to be in a relationship with anyone" he was sobbing the entire time.

It made no sense to me, i was angry, i was hurt i was frusterated and worse off, I now have such low self confidence. In the last seven months, i've been datign this fantastic guy, but yet the entire time I keep fearing he will break up with me, as soon as someone better than me comes along.

Most recently he went to the dominican (well he's still there) for a vacation, and i've been panicing the entire time thinking he's cheating

Can anyone help me change my thoughts? Thanks for reading!

[RSK]

you need to find your spirit back girl! find your mojo! it is STILL in you! you just need to discover it again.

I KNOW IT'S IN YOU

you need to just need to realize that your ex was a punk. he NEVER deserved someone like you. you don't deserved to be treated, ANYTHING LESS THAN A PRINCESS!

THAT'S RIGHT!

And if guys don't wine and dine you, then you LEAVE GIRL!

[bluesummer]

Your ex was a friggin loser, and I think you realize that. So why does a loser's opinion or behaviour mean anything to you?

I know from experience though, that when you get kicked down like that, eventually you start to believe that's what you deserve. You need to correct this, because insecurity attracts the biggest losers. You do not want to keep going through this cycle again and again. Just know you are better than what your ex said. Pull some strength from your experiences. This is a learning process.....I can't tell you a magic cure to become confident overnight. I can only tell you how to start down the path to becoming what you want to be.

[Harmony]

you need to find your spirit back girl! find your mojo! it is STILL in you! you just need to discover it again.

what is mojo?

[RSK]

[url]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mojo[/url]

Some other slang meanings of mojo in common use include: charm, charisma, karma, cocaine and thing (as in "Gimme that mojo!").

[Tone]

As Captain Planet would say, "The power is YOURS!"