I need some hardcore advice....

[Tiffy4269]

Ok as some of you know already my now xSO were having issues (my fault b/c of needless arguments) and he and I were living together.

I am currently looking for a new job and he still has his job.

We hung out once last week and talked on the phone a couple of times and I didnt think he would still be mad at me for this long so I invited him over the other day and things were going well, we were talking and then I started to talk about us, which didnt end well. I now regret it and wish I had just let him go and talked another time.

I now see that he either hasnt dealt with the reason we are not together in the first place or he is just still mad. Story: 2 months ago, he went away for the weekend to a funeral (i didnt go b/c he was not talking to his dad and he thought it would be uncomfortable if I went and I thought b/c of the situation he should have my support but I just didnt go) and ended up staying longer the he was supposed to and I said in a smart ass/sarcastic tone "why dont you just move back to palm coast (the place he was visiting).

At the time he didnt make a comment about it but it really bothered him and he took that as me kicking him out of our place so he is now living with his best friend. He moved some of his stuff out but not everything. We cannot sublet our apt as it states in the lease. We rented the place till september 2008.

As a result of me not working (i have applied for jobs like crazy and interviewed and I am just waiting to hear back) I have had to cancel our cable b/c the bill is ridiculously high and I only have enough money for January's rent and we still have the utility bill to deal with. Because I was making decent money at my last job I was able to handle all the bills. I guess b/c he considered himself not living there and he knew how much I made he thought I would be able to handle everything. We normally split the bills together. Regardless we signed for all this together and he should be able to contribute.

After how things went the other night I really dont know how to talk to him about our obligations. I tried to call him yesterday morning to apologize for how things went and before I could get the words out he said "I am on my way to work and I dont f***ing want to talk about anything."

It is very apparent that he still needs to deal with things and while yes he was trying to hang out and see if we can be cool with each other, it is best if we have some space. I thought it best to give him a few days and then attempt to have a conversation to make arrangements as far as the apt and bills are concerned.

I suggested that he just take the apt, but he cannot afford it on his own. I want to have a civil conversation (short and sweet) where there is NO relationship talk and if it is possible to make arrangements for our bills where we wont need to be in constant contact with each other. Any suggestions?

[vashti]

Try email??

[Tiffy4269]

Doesnt read emails

[reeba]

I have no idea on whose side to be on with on this one. Both of you are wrong.

He is wrong because he signed a lease and skipped out on it. And he was wrong because he made a bad business/love decision when he picked you as his partner. Let him chose more wisely next time.

You are wrong because you are an unsupportive person (who gripes when a person spends an extra time after a funeral with their family?), who picks as you said 'needless arguements'. Of course he was going to leave. No big surprise there.

Just curious. But why are you unemployed? Were you picking 'needless arguements' there too?

You are going to have to write a groveling email about how wrong you treated him, and hope he does the right thing and pays the 50% for the bills that were incurred while he was living with you. I suspect that is what you are upset about.

Anything that he pays for after he moved out, take as a blessing. He should step up to the plate and pay 25% of the lease. I would explain my math logic here, but it would bore you to tears. But not unless he signed you up for a year's obligation of cable/phone/etc should he pay for any utilities.

A cosigned lease/utility just means both of you get dinged on the credit report if you try to ditch it. In order to drag him down, your credit is going down too. There is nothing on the lease saying each party is responsible for 50%. Usually you can't even take him to small claims court on a cosigned lease and utilities, unless you have a written agreement between the two of you stating who pays what %.