Advice needed regarding long term girlfriend (to break up or not)

[gstest]

Hi everyone,

First of all thanks for taking the time to read over my post, (i appreciate it's pretty long), hopefully you will be able to offer me some advice on my situation.

I am not a regular user of internet forums, but don't feel i could talk to anyone else about this subject so any
response, feedback is welcome (whether it be postive or negative).

Background information -

I am currently heading towards the 4th year anniversary with my current girlfriend and begining to find myyself panicking/ in a bit of a crisis. Before this relationship i had a year of being single and a two year relationship before that. These are the only two girls i have been with apart from a one night stand in the one year gap.

When i fiirst met my girlfriend, i was initially attratced to her straight away and experienced the feelings / emotions of falling in love with her (which i never got with my first girlfriend) However after four years of being together, i dont really feel an attraction anymore. She has recently put a bit of weight on around her stomach, and is begining to look more and more liker her mum who also carries the majority of weight around her stomach. Recently i feel that all i notice is negative points about her appearance, and that i am constantly trying to get her to change eg. suggesting she buy certain clothes, dye her hair, do more exercise, eat better etc. but i feel terrible because i dont want to change her. Now dont get me wrong she is not bad looking, i'm sure the problem is with me. When we initially met she was thinner, and more tanned. I really like mediteranean looking women, dark hair, eyes, tanned, and prefer women who carry more weight around their hips etc. Unfortunately it turned out when i met her was the darkest she was in her life, and that usually she has a very pale white skin tone. Sometimes i thought am i so shallow, that i dont like the way she looks, and how would i feel if i knew she didnt like something about the way i looked. Regardless of appearance, our personalities do match, there is a lot i like about her, she is loyal, affectionate, caring etc and over the past four years we have have good experiences together, and like the same kind of things, and have the same kind of dreams for the future. I just seem to be stick because i care about her, and i really want her to be happy, and wouldnt want to devastate her by telling her that i dont feel that i love her or am attracted to her anymore. Maybe i do still love her i dont know. But more in a companionship kind of way, rather than a sexual way. I know she really likes children and would make a great mother, but she is 26 and probably wants to have children at 30, 31 at the latest. i like children but dont feell i would be ready till at least 35. So i'm worried about this aswell. Are we heading for disaster? Should i carry on and push through not feeling attached, start a family before im ready etc? or should we split somehow and move on to different peoople. I feel stuck as we currently live together, and are moving together to a new place for next year, where she will work and i will do further study. Our finances are saved together, our housing contract is already made for 12 months, so obviously its a bit complicated. Also she thinks im her soulmate and has talked about marriage, so i dont know how or if i could ever split with her. I couldn't bear to hurt her or anyone for that matter, and obviously would never cheat on her or want to do anything to upset her. Our lives have very much played out together for the past 4 years so starting over would seem really difficult too.

There is obviously a lot more to this, but to save reading more incoherent dribble I've tried to simplify things to a few questions:-

- Is it wrong that im not attracted to her, am I being shallow and placing to much value, in looks appearance? (Its not that i think shes bad looking, i just dont feel she is my type, looks wise, for example i am attracted to other girls with much 'worse' figure, but with different features)

- Would i be better of trying to make a go of things, considering the fact i feel i could never bear to upset her, even though it means i may struggle with myself in future, eg having a family i dindnt want yet?

Or would it be better to try to amicably seperate, and if so how, when etc?

Thank you for your advice in advance

[gstest]

.... Apologies for the bad english.