dont want long term relationship - what other options? practical advice needed!

[batmann]

Hey,

short version:
didnt’ have many sex partners in my life, just very long relationships. Now I don’t feel like relationship, but like having many changing sex partners and get a lot of different experiences. I am dating girls now, but It looks like they seem to like me and are possibly interested in relationsships. i don’t want to hurt them and say: sorry , just want casual sex. What should I do? Can anybody understand my situation? Any hands on practical advice?

Detailed version:
a little info about myself: due to severe family issues which started when I was in my teen years i didnt manage to have any sexual relationship until i was 20. I had a girlfriend for some few months and some sex. Then I was still struggling to get my life together until 23 when I turned my life around. That’s when I started to finally attract girls. But what happened was, that my second girlfriend kind of “forced” me into a relationship and I just gave in, happy to have somebody to be with and to have sex with. During some “interruptions” of the relationship I had some sexual encounters, but no penetration sex. Then after a year I met my third girlfriend on holiday, split up with my second girlfriend and went straight into a good relationship with my girlfriend which lasted 3 years till october last year. We split up coz she wanted to settle down, marry and have children.

There comes my problem: after that, being 27 and having had sex with only 3 girls I got some sort of “first third of life crisis” and decided that I have to have sex with many girls in order to become a more sexually mature person. So I bought love with 11 girls and learned a lot about myself and women. I really enjoyed that time. Now I am back to dating, but I still just feel like having more uncomplicated sex instead of building up a relationship with a girl. I don’t want to hurt the girls I’m meeting, because they seem to really like me, but I definitely don’t want a seriuous relationship with them, because I always have the feeling that I totally missed out on sexual experience in my life and if I commit to one girl, I just get back into that “relationship thing” which I have already quite much experience with.

I would be happy for any comments and hands on advice and please don’t make fun of me, I’m serious about this issue.

[Bonfire]

Here is a practical advice. You are on the wrong forum. This is the "Love Forum", where we deal with issues regarding love and relationships. You might want to go to the "Manwhore Forum" where it's all about getting laid and spreading diseases.

[pisces25]

Tell them from the outset you are only interested in sex and don't lead them on. At least then they know where you stand and can make a decision if that is what they want to.

[oneandonly]

Here is a practical advice. You are on the wrong forum. This is the "Love Forum", where we deal with issues regarding love and relationships. You might want to go to the "Manwhore Forum" where it's all about getting laid and spreading diseases.

lol. Does it actually exist? I am not gonna look up.

OP, all you can do is be up-front about it. I am sure there are girls who go through a similar phase in life. Or sign up for dating websites and state that's exactly what you want so avoid attracting 'wrong' girls who are into a relationship in the first place.

[cheeky&sexy]

I know guys like u and im not one of those bitter or hateful girls. I feel like i can understand your perspectives and ive been with guys like u before. The key is honestly, if u just want casual sex, dont go on dates with the girls. The only time i really got hurt by a guy i slept with is cos we were dating and he kept acting and talking like he was/wanted to be my boyfriend.. that didnt happen and he started seeing someone else. But other guys ive slept with made it clear from the very beginning they were only after casual sex, and they didnt hurt me because i knew not to get emotionally invested, and so im on good terms with them. A good way of letting a girl know you dont want a relationship with them without them taking it personally is to say your loving being single right now. I mean sounds like that is the truth and they need to know this upfront. Basically u have to send girls the right message from the beginning. If you're dating it sends the message you're looking for a relationship, unless u tell them up front on the first date that ur just looking for fun and casual dating, not a relationship. I know guys dont like to say that cos they dont want to risk their chances of getting laid, but u have to or ur definately going to hurt a lot of girls. If you're really just wanting casual sex u should stick to hanging out with the girls only in clubs and the bedroom, its the only way u wont be blamed for leading the girls on.

[batmann]

thx for your posts (except bonfire, no comment, dude!)
@cheeky&sexy, thx for your good advice. i guess i have to just keep trying to explain that to my dates. so far i was saying: i'm not looking for a long term relationship and kept dating a girl and spent a night with her. we get along well, she's also not looking for a longterm relationship. when i mentioned the topic "open relationship" and dating other girls/guys, she said she never did something like that, and is sure " i wouldn't tell her about other girls". not too sure how to interpret that. i fear girls may feel like "just one girl in the harem" or so and if i thell them i'm just looking for fun, they feel "being used" and insulted and move on... what are your feelings when you meet guys for casual sex, cheeky+sexy? if they say: i like to be single, is that a clear enough sign for casual sex? thx for your replies, i'm really curious for advice from anybody who experienced this, coz atm i cant find the right words to tell the girls, that they are actually really important for me and i respect them and appreciate the time i spent with them, but i'm just not willing to commit... cheers

[girl68]

Go to clubs, hit on drunk chicks, get laid don't ask for the number.

For real. Don't date, don't chat, just have sex. The more you "talk" the more attached she'll become.

[Single]

If you take a girl out on a date, they're thinking you want to date them long term. Point blank. Thats what a date is.

I agree with above, hit the town, give girls your wrong name and just get laid. Dont call them to lead them on after.

[batmann]

thx, sounds good

yep, should get the chicks the same night.
could u guys share some experiences where u picked up? whaddya think about hostels? should be good to pickup traveller girls ...