girlfriend's past is troubling me

[magiangel]

Hi,

It is the first time that I ever had sex with someone and she has had sex with many other people. 9 months into the relationship I am starting to mind that she had sex with other people.

I feel that I am losing as she has done it with other people before.

What is even more odd is that the men that she had been with, are literally related to my family members. Like she did with a police before and that my family has a police officer. And that she did it with a Malaysia which parent have had the title of datuk and that my family also has an uncle with the title of datuk.

What's more is that the people she did with makes me feel that it's related to my family and all of her past is chewing me up. I have a feeling that my family caused all these issues. I also mind that she had done it with other people before.

All of this is chewing me up everytime I talk it her.

How do I get over it? I feel that my ego hasn't won at all and that she isn't mine.

On the other hand she treats me very well. And treats me well and buys me lots of gifts and I don't want to part with her. How do I get over it?

[dickriculous]

Hi,

It is the first time that I ever had sex with someone and she has had sex with many other people. 9 months into the relationship I am starting to mind that she had sex with other people.

I feel that I am losing as she has done it with other people before.

What is even more odd is that the men that she had been with, are literally related to my family members. Like she did with a police before and that my family has a police officer. And that she did it with a Malaysia which parent have had the title of datuk and that my family also has an uncle with the title of datuk.

What's more is that the people she did with makes me feel that it's related to my family and all of her past is chewing me up. I have a feeling that my family caused all these issues. I also mind that she had done it with other people before.

All of this is chewing me up everytime I talk it her.

How do I get over it? I feel that my ego hasn't won at all and that she isn't mine.

On the other hand she treats me very well. And treats me well and buys me lots of gifts and I don't want to part with her. How do I get over it?

It's hard to give concrete advice on how to get over something like this. A lot of it has to do with hormones and depending on your upbringing you may have some preconceived notions about how women are supposed to be virgins until you and only you come along and bone them, and if that's the case I mean, we can tell you that's wrong all day but we're not going to undo any long held beliefs there may be - that's going to be all on you if you want to solve this problem.

When you say things like "I feel my ego hasn't won" and "I feel like I am losing" it sounds like there is an element of shame and self-loathing toward the fact that she is your first, and that could be the foundation of your problems. If it makes you feel any better I can remind you that there is no pre-determined number of women you are supposed to sleep with. You can do whatever the **** you want to do as long as you're not hurting people, whether that means saving yourself for one woman or pounding every sugar wall you come across for the rest of your life. Not a single **** to be given from this guy.

Of course, actually living by that mentality is going to be all on you. Not much I can do for you in that regard, but I do believe that ultimately a paradigm shift will be required and that's not an easy thing to accomplish.

[Boisdevie]

Your relationship is doomed because you can't take the fact the she wasn't a virgin. All those other guys probably had bigger dicks than you too.

[michelle23]

Does it bother you because you wish you had more or you wish she had less?? Not that it really matters. This is insecurity. If your happy together then it should not really matter.. unless her past goes against your morals/beliefs.. if you want someone more conservative then shes not it