Great Relationship Ends Quickly (long but interesting)

[pikecal145]

I have been in a relationship with a gorgeous girl for a year. The first 8 months were perfect! Absolutely perfect! I am 25 and she is 17 (I know some of you think that's weird). There is no sex. I respect her enough not to worry about. We were both very much in love.

The past month and a half have been odd. Her family is very moral conscious and expect the very best from and for her. Her mom is an angel and her dad is a successful businessman. They live in a very small town in AL. I have had words with her dad over petty things, because he is hard to communicate with, but we have always made things right. I have made many changes in my life to better myself for her including quit drinking and got saved. I am trying really hard to straighten up for her.

Here comes the odd stuff. We planned to hang out before a college football game we were both attending but she never called, which is very odd. She calls whether something is wrong or not. So after a period I naturally called her. She said she was at the game with her parents and thought I was being overbearing. That night she called and said she was "done" and didn't love me anymore and needed the ever dreaded "time and space". She also said she just wanted to experience life (which maybe true). I fell she should have thought that before we fell so deep in love. Remember though everything at least "seemed" perfect just two days earlier.

So I am trying to give her "time and space" while at least attempting to figure out what went wrong. I have talked to her aunt. She knows nothing. Talked to her mom. She "says" she knows nothing. Here's the tricky stuff. I talked to her a couple of days after the breakup and she seemed to understand my position of wanting to work things out. We took it slow the next few days (max 2 texts a day, no calls). I sent her flowers today b/c it was her last football game as a cheerleader with a neutral note telling her that I was proud of her.

We have a shared email address that I rarely use and she uses only through her cell. I read a conversation b/w her and her mom almost making a joke out of the flowers and her mom telling her she was wise for making her decision. Yet one of her classmates (also a friend of mine) told me she broke down and really cried over the flowers.

So I don't know. Maybe it's over and I'm trying to hang on to something that's not there. I know this is long but I think the details are necessary to understand the situation. Thanks for reading and for any help.

[damn2008]

She's young. Really there is not much more to be said there.

She still has college and a lot of experiences as well as growing up to do. You're already out of college (or at least that age) and moving forth with the next step in life.

Her parents very well could have "coaxed" her into that direction as well since it seems you had some problems early in the relationship (drinking, etc.) and they recognized she had a lot of growing up to do.

[Bumble_bee]

why are you trying to figure out a 17 yr old girl.....

[Gigabitch]

why are you trying to figure out a 17 yr old girl.....

I agree. You might as well try to figure out what your cat wants out of life.

[qwertz]

interesting for who...

[lightning]

hell she is so young. I cant even understand how you are trying to figure out a teenager mind.
I remember I was completely not stable emotionally at the age of 17

[girl68]

Did you really expect a 16 year old girl to be able to have a lasting relationship with you?

That was the first mistake.

[pikecal145]

She is young this is true but she is very mature. She has more class than most women my age. If you take all her features she is a wonderful, mature, and smart lady. The fact still remains she is 17 and has some natural growing up to do.

[TheScareCrow]

Every time I've dated girls younger than me it ended because of some immaturity on their part. I dont trust em. Especially teenage girls. They think they have it all fiigured out when really they have no idea what they want or what they're doing in a relationship.

[Sanctuary]

She's young and she has no clue what she's doing. It's possible she still likes you a little bit but her parents convinced her to break up with you.

Regardless, all this is irrelevant because if you really loved her you'd let her go and meet someone else in college so she can experience life and potentially find someone better.

If you keep pursuing her, you're just being selfish and looking out for her own needs as opposed to what would really be in her best interests.

[Creativejeanius]

Maybe she found someone else? I agree with most on this post you are better off with someone closer to your age anyway.

[pikecal145]

After a week and a half of no contact I saw her in town and after a brief but nice conversation I asked her to lunch. She replied "sure". I sent her a text telling her what time I would be free and it was her choice on location. She picked what was our favorite spot.

Now I've just got to figure out how to stay away from trying to talk her back into a relationship (even though that's what I truly want).

[vashti]

I am 25 and she is 17

This makes me want to lock my daughter in a closet. And have you arrested.

[Artemis]

First of all, look out for yourself. Love may not have an age, but the law has an age for love. I've been in the girl's position here. As long as her parents are alright with it, that's all I'm going to say about that.

Next: generally "needing time and space" is code for "I've found someone else." Never fear, however. She is young, she's still finding out what she wants, so give her what she asks for, and don't be clingy. Check in with her every so often, but whatever happens happens, ok? You two are in completely different parts of your lives. You'd be better off with someone whose stage of life is a little bit more like yours. Good luck.

[pikecal145]

Thanks, and just for the story's sake I went to her parents for approval before I even asked her out the first time. They were like a second family.