I'm terrible, advice please?

[Redlightwill]

Okay so back story. I've been dating my girlfriend for 6+ years so right out of high school basically, have had good times bad times and all that jive. I've never cheated on her, did break up with her once to basically have sex with another girl who turned out to be ****ing mental. Supported her through 4 years of college, eventually we bought a house together now that we both have good jobs and shit. I was kind of pressured into buying the house with a "If we don't make the next move I'm leaving" shit, but I went along with it because we weren't in a bad spot in the relationship and I wasn't too bothered by the fact of investing in something for my future. Fast forward a couple of months to a little less than a year ago, new girl at work starts working near me, I over hear her listening to my favorite music group at the time and recommend some artists she should take a look at, long story short we start to become friends.

TANGENT TIME. Okay so a little about this girl from what I've observed. Shes generally shy around new people unless shes with a lot of people she knows, kind of weird, likes a lot of indie style stuff but doesn't appear to think of herself as hipster. I think she wants to be the center of attention because of the way shes like to interrupt people when they talk, or tries to sometimes out do people on their stories and she likes to talk about all the fun things shes doing and has planned. Likes to drink frequently..

Eventually work friends and I all get together and go out drinking, singing and frolicking after work one night. I don't notice it at first but new girl apparently gets kind of close to me, enough so that the next week at work several people can't seem to shut up about how the new hot girl is flirting with me. I dismiss it thinking they were drunk and didn't see shit. A month or so goes by and next work-drink outing happens and I decide to try and see if I can provoke flirting. I generally ignore her, knowing that she likes to be the center of attention and act sort of hard to get, must either work like a charm or dumb luck because alot of obvious flirting happens. Over the next few months more and more nights of drinking occur and obvious flirting turns into legs rubbing, lips touching ears when trying to speak over the music/crowd, legs thrown over mine, sitting in lap, body rubbing, grinding, grind dancing. It becomes a regular thing and people at work notice it as well. I have a talk with her about boundaries and shit (mention to her that I think shes cute and I like her), she says she doesn't remember doing anything due to the alcohol (LOL).

So I basically let it go, time passes don't think as much about her anymore. Night out, she come back in flirting as much as before or worse, constantly gets rides from people to the bars so that she can deny other people when they ask if she needs a ride home and eventually getting me to give her one(happens alot).

Now me before meeting this girl I was kind of boring and un social. Now I can openly talk to just about anyone I dance all the time and generally have much more fun after meeting this girl... Its made me sort of distant from my girlfriend and I kind of worry about where I'm going to go from this...

Tell me what kind of bad person I am and maybe some advice because Its emotionally wrecking going through this time after time.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Stop hanging out with the girl from work. It's okay when everyone from work is there, but once people start going home, leave...without her. You're not a terrible person, you're just bored in your relationship, and probably feel stagnated. You could always break up with your g/f again and have sex with the new girl for a while or pursue something serious with her, then go back. Or you could simply cheat on your girlfriend as a form of revenge for emotionally blackmailing you into buying a house. All are viable options. You didn't say anything about loving your girlfriend, so maybe its time to part ways.

[cheekxs]

Dude men are pigs.

you have to tell your gf, and break up and go be the free pig you are.

stop playing with peoples heart.

if you want to be in a relationship you cat be doing this. you know it.shame on you!

[smackie9]

It's simple, start doing fun things with your GF. This happens to a lot of couples that have been together for a long time, school, work, bills, mortgage and responsibility start to take over your life and you forget to be a couple, your relationship is in a slump. You need to set up date nights with your GF, try doing things outside your comfort zone, like rock climbing, take dance lessons, go see live theater or comedy nights, take up golfing, try bungee jumping, join a ball team, or some group so you can socialize. Just to let you know, for the long haul you have to keep working at a relationship to keep things going, and a lot of compatibility, also need to try new things together.

It's not unusual to be swept off your feet or titillated by a co-worker, but you have to recognize it as a passing fancy because that is all it is. See it for what it is because it always seems alcohol consumption is involved which is contributing to this flirtation.


So the others have valid posts. You should make a choice of what you want to do. I sense you really have no real interest in marrying your GF, and that you were too lazy to just call it quits. Now here you are knee deep and at a crossroads.