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Thread: What is the best way to handle this situation?

  1. #1
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    Sep 2005
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    What is the best way to handle this situation?

    Well Here is a brief synopsis of the situation, Essentially I met this girl (she is 29 I'm 24) and while we hit it off very well, She seems to be in the same mindset that she was in 2 years ago IE: Drinking excessively on work nights and coming in at like 3am and in a few cases een as late as 2PM the following day. Now thats not my major gripe even though it is a gripe, my major gripe is that there is a 5 year old child that is hers that I have to make sure is taken care of even if she is worthless from a night of drinking. THis leads to a bit of stress for me when it happens almost on a weekly basis.

    See of course with every issue there are two sides but I only see mine so I'm not going to try to explain her mindset. She has fairly hairy mood swings as in literally 5 minutes she is in love with me until her dying day and the next literally I'm dumped. Now it has been close to 3 years together and the cycle never seems to change, she gets irritated because honestly I dont want to go out drinking or partying or do anything like that because honestly I feel like crap the next day and the appeal to do such things was really never even there to begin with.

    Most of my problem here is self imposed, I'm sure. I feel partially responsible for her well being since in my brilliance I have helped her out financially and at least until the lease ends in march I am planning on contiuning to help her out because I honestly want to make sure her and her child are taken care of. I just dont see this cycle ending of her dumping me, me trying to make things work etc. rinse repeat...

    I guess I would just like to hear other thoughts.

    Thanks.

  2. #2
    Tone's Avatar
    Tone Guest
    Wow... 29 years old with a child acting like a damn fool.

    Some people just shouldn't have children. Honestly. She needs to get a grip on her life and take some responsibility. It's not right that she should stay out getting smashed while you have to take care of her kid for her cause she can't learn to be a responsible mother.

  3. #3
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    Man, sounds like you deserve much better. I can understand though, if you leave, what's the kid gunna do
    "Oh Lord it's hard to be humble, when you're perfect in every way. I can't wait to look in the mirror, cause I get better loking each day. To know me is to love me, I must be a hell of a man. Oh Lord it's hard to be humble, but I'm doing the best that I can." Mac Davis

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tone
    Wow... 29 years old with a child acting like a damn fool.

    Some people just shouldn't have children. Honestly. She needs to get a grip on her life and take some responsibility. It's not right that she should stay out getting smashed while you have to take care of her kid for her cause she can't learn to be a responsible mother.
    I dont think it would get to me so badly but it has been almost 3 years, and things dont change much here and I see the influence it is having on her child, and it makes it a lot more difficult when any attempt is made to establish discipline or responsibility, it comes back to me "not being her father" as a reason why I shouldn't do any of that but its fine to just take care of her when she is drunk or hungover...

  5. #5
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    Sep 2005
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    Quote Originally Posted by TAVS
    Man, sounds like you deserve much better. I can understand though, if you leave, what's the kid gunna do

    EXACTLY.

    Thats my dillemma.

    I'm not the greatest guy in the world, hell mastering "toilet seat down" is still one of the highlights of my relationship-type life.

    But I still consider myself to be a bit more noble then just packing my stuff and moving and not looking back you know?

  6. #6
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    Sep 2005
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    stop dating white trash

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