Boyfriend's friend hitting on me?

[pytanie]

Okay so here's the deal. I've been dating my boyfriend for about 20 months and have known his friend for the better part of a year. I never really talk to his friend (not really the type I hang around) but recently it seems like his friend is hitting on me?
I honestly wouldn't have thought of it myself, my boyfriend is actually the one who brought it to my attention. He's said "what's wrong with him?" on about two different occasions now in which it "appeared" that his friend was trying to flirt or something. I don't really think much of it because I'm almost certain what his friend is doing is like a psychological defense mechanism since he recently went through a very bad break-up with a girl he was going to marry and an even more recent skating accident..he was okay for awhile but after his accident and suffering from a bought of amnesia the supposed "flirting" started. A week or so ago he even said something about a "triple date" when I was telling my boyfriend about the new Hangover movie coming out. And tonight, well 1:00AM, he sent me a message asking "how it's going?" .
And to clarify, the reason I'm almost certain that it's a psychological thing is because I'm completely opposite of his risk-taking, cheating ex-girlfriend.
What's going on with him and what should I do?
I am in no way interested in my boyfriend's friend but I do not know how to handle this situation. I don't want my boyfriend and his friend to become estranged because of this paranoia my boyfriend has about him. I already suggested that my boyfriend talk to him but I think he ignored my suggestion. My boyfriend can be a little passive-aggressive sometimes so I would also like to know how I can get him to change that.

[surfhb]

Your BF needs to confront him. This Ass Hole is breaking the Ultimate Man Code Rule - Thou shall never hit on a bro's girlfriend or date!!

Question his Manhood because thats exactly whats at stake here!

[MaidenMinx]

If this guys ex cheated on him, maybe he is worried for his mate that you'll turn out to be a cheater too and is trying to catch you out? Just a suggestion.

[sookie6]

After a break up I can easily believe that many out of character behaviours can develop...soluton is easy...retrieve from the situation...when your bfriend sees his friend you should not be there, don't answer his text messages (best would be to change your phone number but I guess it's a bit complicated)...anyway he isyour bfriends' friend so you should no be in touch other than when your bo is around...

You want to be firm in these situations...

[surfhb]

If this guys ex cheated on him, maybe he is worried for his mate that you'll turn out to be a cheater too and is trying to catch you out? Just a suggestion.

LOL! You're a female? Only a woman would suggest this. Guys dont play this kind of stuff

[VincenzoG91]

How did he get your phone number? If you gave him your phone number, you may have given him reason to think that he should ask you out.

[pytanie]

How did he get your phone number? If you gave him your phone number, you may have given him reason to think that he should ask you out.

He (N) does have my phone number but it's only in case I can't get in touch with my boyfriend (C) or if he's looking for C (C didn't have a phone for awhile and it constantly dies or he loses it), he either has it from C or from FB. I think the only time N's actually called me was when he wanted to tell my man that he got a tattoo and thought C was with me--I didn't answer the call but the three of us ended up going to see a movie later that day which is the last time I saw him before the accident. The actual message was sent on facebook but it's still weird because as a rule I try not talking to C's friends after 10 unless its an emergency.
It's quite possible N could've been hopped up on pain-killers because of his shattered knee-cap or have gotten drunk or something last night. Like I said, not the type I hang around (my boyfriend and I are both Clean, don't drink or anything and I don't really enjoy being around people that do).

[IndigoGal]

Ok, I'm a girl, so this may not be the male perspective you're looking for, but here goes. If you're friends with him on FB, I say respond to whatever the message was privately and say that you just want to make sure you're on the same page. You think he's cool, and like hanging out with him and your BF, but that you are very much in love with C and would never to anything to hurt him. Follow that with a get well wish. Just my two cents.

[IndiReloaded]

A week or so ago he even said something about a "triple date" when I was telling my boyfriend about the new Hangover movie coming out. And tonight, well 1:00AM, he sent me a message asking "how it's going?" .

He's showing interest in you. I think that inappropriate messages should just be ignored, if he is smart he will take the hint. If not, then you may need to tell him more directly to back off as Indigogal's suggests.

But, that said, some people are natural flirts, men and women. Both my husband and I have had to deal with "admirers" of the opposite sex. In a way, its nice to know one has chosen a desirable partner. So, it really depends on the maturity of the people involved.

[smackie9]

Step up girl. The only way this dude will listen is if it comes from you. You have to be assertive and make sure you get the point across. If he doesn't stop, don't hang out with him anymore.

[pytanie]

My boyfriend talked to him earlier. Didn't really get a response about his "flirting" but his reason for trying to talk to me at 1 in the morning was that he was "hydrocroning", whatever that is. Do I need to demand my bf ask again or ask his friend more directly to get a straight answer? Not necessarily satisfied with such a stupid excuse.

[VincenzoG91]

Look, this guy is an idiot. Block his number on your phone and that should send a clear message.

[IndiReloaded]

What does 'satisfied' have to do with it? You are enjoying the attention, I think. Tsk. Stop stirring the pot if you are serious about your BF.

[jb1111983]

Look, this guy is an idiot. Block his number on your phone and that should send a clear message.

follow the above advice. Stop entertaining his messages! Ignore him completely or you'll risk losing your relationship. Not kidding we take such things very seriously. He hitting on you isn't ok but you giving him attention is not acceptable.

[Dr.Phillius]

If i were you, this is what I'd do. Id tell my boyfriend about him. Then i'd suggest that your boyfriend cuts him. By cut i mean removing him from your circle. If your boyfriend doesnt cut him hes a moron. He is clearly an unloyal friend. Every man knows that you never ever EVER EVER EeeEeEEEVER!!! mess around with your boyfriends ex girlfriend yet alone his current girlfriend.