Long Distance Relationship...I need Advise...

[xd3vilx]

Hi guys. Here is my story...I been on a long distance relationship for close to 1 year now. My gf left oversea to study one year before college. Everything was fine, have a few quarrel here and there, no problem. But ever since she have gone college. I feel that our relationship has down stale and idk idle perhaps? She has been very busy with her work, talk to her everyday still but from a few hours in the past has been dropping to less than an hour? She told me she has tons of work to do which is true and this result of this she neglected me. Due to this...i just feel like i am just another person in her, not as her bf. i feel so unimportant and neglected. i feel distanced compared to the past and sometimes i just feel i am more of a liability and she isn't as happy as I would like to be with me. she told me her focus is her schoolwork now and she might get even more busy in the future. my friends due to the differences of our availability, we only meet up during the weekends...during the weekdays i sometime just feel so lonely and unwanted. she ask me am i bothered...i told her slightly...but the truth is i am very well bothered about it and some nights i just can't sleep well. i didn't want to tell her the truth as i don't want to deem to be selfish and destroy her chance in achieving her dream. i still love her i guess but it kind of destroying me. please give your advise. thanks. and sorry for the long story.

[TAVS]

Distance relationships are very hard, especially at your age. Seems like you both need to put things on hold for a while, live life, and if its mean to be, see what the future holds

[Saga]

I can understand how you feel, d3vil. I'm also in a long distance relationship, and it is easy to feel neglected and lonely, esp when your gf/bf seems too busy for you at times. When you can't see your love in person, it's very important to communicate a LOT, and well. Really let her know how you feel- that you feel like you're being overlooked. If she loves you, she'll understand. But I can see things from her side as well- I;m the one who went away for school, and you do tend to be very busy in college. She might not be purposely neglecting you. She probably just does not have 3 spare hours a day to talk. And she is right to be focused on her schoolwork. After all, that's the whole reason she went away, right? Distance definitely tests a relationship, and often it's make or break. The fact that you "guess" you still love her means you don't, so consider that as well, and think if you really want to make this work with her.

[Carol]

Aw.... I feel so bad for you :'( I have been in a few long distance relationships my self! I am actually engaged to a man that is living in England and I am here in the states!! The advice that I would give that may be a real hard thing for you to do is let go! Believe me- I know how hard that is when you love some one so much! I know that the thoughts and feelings can be over whelming sometimes, but things will get better! You just have to make sure that you aren't being ignorant and ignoring some red flags! She is a long ways a way and it is possible she has found some one else! The theory that I have is that people make time for the things that are important to them! Look- main bit of advice I would give is to cool things off from your side! Don't pressure her to talk and you should get out and enjoy life as much as you can- as hard as it is maybe even skip a few times that you would normally talk and just find things to get busy with! Take some extra time with friends and family to get your mind off of her- if it is love she will come back to you and if she doesn't love you it is better to find out now rather than later! Speaking from a girls point of view- if she does really love you and she feels like you are pulling away she will work hard to get you back! You just cant be too pushy and give her the power to control you or at least feel like she has the power to control you. I speak for myself in this but I think it is the same with most women- when a guy gets too overly involved I will cool things off but when he keeps a healthy distance I will pursue more! Just give her some space and let her come to you! Help her see that you are really ok with out her- and I really think she will find you more attractive and try to win you back!

[xd3vilx]

Thanks alot for the advise! Will take it into consideration.

[the_doggoned]

my advice:

long distance relationships are impossible and don't work.

there's plenty of other women out there that can make you happy. and they're not on another continent!

sure, it's gonna hurt your heart for a while, but it'll be worth it! cut it off!

p.s. - easier said than done.