26 years old male from Canada

[Le_solitaire]

Hello to all, I would love to be part of this community and benefit from others experiences and share mine as well. I am a 26 years old male from canada. Here is my story, I would really love to have feedback from any of you. I am in my last year at university finishing my BFA. I recently took a sculpture class. It is the not so original love story with my teacher. She is doing her master, i would say she is under 30 for sure. So there is no big gap in age between her and me which can be considered good. Anyway I am a virgo man, little bit shy but not too much, a regular guy but I never had any luck in the love department which results in poor self esteem even tough i managed to project a different image.

To make a short story, I was struck by her the first time I saw her, the way she talks, the way she moves, the way she dress...you get the point. After 3 class, actually last week we had individual meetings to discuss our sculpture projects, so I said to myself thats it, it's the time to let her know. My turns come, I enter the room, we exchange some words and before we move to the central topic, I take my courage and tell her that she is irresistible and that I would love to invite her for a coffee or anything she likes. I was obviously very nervous but I managed to keep this low profile and I said everything I wanted to say, I was proud. Anyway, I dont remember everything crystal clear, but she seemed very flattered (big smile) but unfortunately she said I have a boyfriend...I asked her how long they have been together and she said 6 years...so I reply with a smile, too bad I am 6 years late... and we move on with my sculpture project, I joke, we talk about music and other stuff. It's fine, there is no awkward moments...it's all good.

After that I left and went home alone as usual...feeling good and proud but obviously kind of depressed. I am not proud of this but I went lurking on facebook and found her profile...strange, there is not a single picture of her with the "boyfriend". I think it is bizarre considering a 6 years old boyfriend would be much more present and possibly be on at least one picture with her but it is not the case. I know it doesnt change the fact that she rejected me but the point I would love to know is did she lied to me? Strange coincidence, the last 7 or so girls I asked out, all told me about boyfriends....is it a polite way to reject a man? I was honest and expect the same from her. but at the same time I'm not sure if i prefer to be told "hey sorry but you are not my type" versus the "hey thanks, but I have a boyfriend" it's a tough one...

Maybe it is just a weird coincidence or maybe am I constantly attracted by girls who are already in relationship...maybe I am suffering from a syndrome similar to the beaten women who always fall for the bad guys who punch them after a couple of beers...I would love to hear from all of you, as i am very confused... By the way sorry if there is some mistakes in my writting, english is not my first language.
Hope to hear from you. thanks

[girl68]

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[Le_solitaire]

Sure, you are right about that. Any thoughts regarding something else?

[girl68]

This is a super easy one. And I'll be straight to the point.

is it a polite way to reject a man?

Yes.

And when you ask about which is better/ worse saying "bf" or "not my type" we girls know this is a debate, and we like to think it hurts you less to say we have a bf. Therefore to us, it's easier and has less reprocussions.

Either way a girl who says this isn't into you, either way. At least it's better than a "no, hell no! Eww, get away from me" :S.

[Le_solitaire]

In other words, what you are saying is that some girls, in this case...her, she is a great actress, she can look straight into my eyes, tell me ohhh thanks (still be or fake to be flattered) then say I already have a boyfriend...and go even further by telling how long they have been together and where they met....hehe of course this is only speculation..maybe she really has one...I'm not going to stalk her to discover the truth as I might be quite disappointed.

[Primo]

Sorry, but girl68 is right. You have a crush, but definitely let it go and look for someone else.

[Le_solitaire]

Hey there,
yeah I know, unfortunately my present life is a succession of one way crush. The bad thing is that I was kind of confident and made the move...now I need to go there every weeks and stand still like rock, smile and continue doing my work. It is a bad position for me but I knew the risks when i decided to go for it but it just plain sucks having to deal with that.

[Primo]

You did everything right. You complimented her, let her know you found her interesting and attractive and had the balls to ask her out. Definitely well played, you should feel good about how you handled yourself.

Unfortunately not everyone we like, likes us back. Wouldn't it be great if it worked out that way :-)

I'm sure they're will be another Canadian cutie come along very soon, just keep your eyes open.

[vashti]

I am impressed by the way you approached her! Don't give up!

And yes, it is possible she was trying to spare your feelings, but it is also possible she has a boyfriend. In the end, it doesn't matter... she's not available to you. Stop obsessing about it.

[Le_solitaire]

Well thanks vashti, to be honest I don't approach girls with so confidence usually. I just did it because I guess I'm tired of being scared. In fact rejection itself is not sooo bad but the fear of it, is something else. I know I need to stop obsessing about it but it's difficult in this particular case.

In part because I tend to elaborate some really sweet ending scenarios (like she will change her mind) which is unlikely...from my previous experiences but also because I'm seeing her tonight, next week, the week after that and so on. lol Anyway thanks people for your comments.

[girl68]

In other words, what you are saying is that some girls, in this case...her, she is a great actress, she can look straight into my eyes, tell me ohhh thanks (still be or fake to be flattered) then say I already have a boyfriend...and go even further by telling how long they have been together and where they met....hehe of course this is only speculation..maybe she really has one...I'm not going to stalk her to discover the truth as I might be quite disappointed.

You do realize that if we say we have a bf and then you ask how long we have to still spit out some answer! 6 year, 2 months... it doesn't matter- we had to answer with something.

And even if yout got turned down chances are she was honestly flattered. I am even if I turn him down with a bf line.

[jmichaelse]

Welcome m8. enjoy your stay

[Gigabitch]

Maybe her boyfriend is married.

[Le_solitaire]

Hi jmichaelse, thanks and enjoy your stay as well.

[Le_solitaire]

Maybe her boyfriend is married.

Hehe this is a very interesting theory I must say. If it's the case, is she aware of this?