Trust issue I checked her facebook advice needed

[Bradersn]

I've been with my girlfriend nearly a year its been the best year of my life its first love all that, she's older than me and was in a relationship for 12 years controlled and treated how a woman shouldn't be.

She is a flirty person its the way she is, I see over her shoulder a bloke had said night babes sweetdreams I also see when she left her Facebook logged in she had said hi babes still looking good, I've never forgot you and the choice I made, remembered this blokes dimples wants to meet up for a catch up, this bloke has replied interests have been discussed its got to a point where its 3 kisses his said you know how to make me smile. I didn't see it all as she found me with the phone. She has changed the password and doesn't let the phone out of sight.

Pulled her up on it asked what's going on who is he, all she's told me is that he is someone she used to hang about with how dare I accuse her of being unfaithful not once did I accuse her of that and now she says shes hurt her heart has been ripped to pieces and she doesnt trust or respect me don't know if it can be fixed.

The msgs looked very strange and instead of telling me nothing is going on I have been made to feel like I have done something wrong now I'm apologising and trying to win her back. She has cheated before on her ex with me it just didn't look right the way she was speaking to this man I know that if it was the other way round she would act the same who wouldn't question it if it seemed too flirty.

Just don't understand what I've done wrong yet ive let her make me feel the bad one now its me my fault and ive got to fix it she thinks I don't trust her but if I see something like what ive said I cant not question ot

[4 ratties]

Flirty is one thing but she doesn't need to be sending kisses and this message sounds deeper then just flirting.
U were wrong to go through her phone or computer or wherever it was though.
You were both wrong.
The point now is u can't trust her you said and she has cheated before so this is very sketchy behavior. And I would leave this girl before u get hurt some more.

[Bradersn]

I did trust her I think I still do but I really have been made out to be the bad one, I had her phone but who wouldn't question what I see. Though she also told this bloke she is with me and wouldn't hurt me but the msgs are still very misleading to me what has lead to someone saying night babes sweetdreams spk tomorrow which indicates there is daily contact

[lalalita]

I think it's ridiculous how people turn things around to "how dare you violate my privacy" when they are caught with dirt. In my opinion, if you're a backstabbing, betraying, liar you no longer deserve privacy.

[Bradersn]

It looks too suspicious doesn't it? I had to question it and still my questions are unanswered. The day I see the messages we had a real in depth conversation about us so much love was involved it was amazing but, to be talking to some guy the way she is with as many kisses had thrown my mind all over the place. My heart is telling me no don't be silly she loves you but wow my head right now still needs to find out do I ask to see the messages? She as I said claims she doesn't trust or respect me at this moment but those messages I would not send to another person in a million years

[Bradersn]

Any other opinions or advice?

[namemyname]

Do you still have testicles?

Because you could fool me.

WHY are you trying to win someone back who has behaved like this???

[michelle23]

her reaction says it all! shes is cheating on you. innocent people dont react that way. she got angry and defensive, turned all the blame on you and she mentioned unfaithful way before you did.

you did nothing wrong. you snooped bcoz you knew you couldnt trust her and you were right. so now that yu know for sure you cant trust her, what are you gonna do about it?

i think you should grow a pair, stop apologizing to her. you looked in her phone-big deal. tell her to stfu and then dump her

[michelle23]

oh and this is what you get for having an affair you idiot. if she will cheat with you, she will cheat on you. common sense!

[anonymous_a]

She's shady. I wouldn't trust her as far as I can throw her. The fact that she had to change her password, shows that there's something in there, that you wouldn't like. If she has to hide it from you, she shouldn't be doing it!!

[Ginger2013]

Me thinks the lady doth protest too much....that's a red flag. I still get emails from guys I dated before I committed to my bf and I simply delete them, hell, I often show them to him, I certainly don't respond with flirty words etc. Maybe she's one of those silly people who think that only sex means cheating. Go with your gut.