Originally Posted by
OmnicronPercei8
I personally have the (mis?)conception that if you're in love with someone and they leave you fight to get them back. You fight with all your heart to show them that you've made mistakes and will learn from them. Many other posters on here have stated that chasing them or showing them your feelings is only a mistake which drives them even further away. Obviously the reasons for the break up are relevant in which would one works, but I guess 9-10 times on this board it is where they have left you for whatever reason or suggested a break while they think about things.
My ex had even told me that she wished so very much that she had fought harder to get me back when we were taking a break and when I wasn't responsive as quick as she needed she started to check out of the relationship. So she wanted to fight to keep me and didn't fight enough and I wanted to fight to keep her after we broke up for good and maybe I fought too much...
I just wondered what the consensus was on this. Pursue her and show her you love her? Or start getting over her day one?
It depends. Is she wanting you to chase her because she wants to manipulate her? Or is she serious about getting back together? Does she make an effort to give something to the relationship? If not, she is just feeding her ego with you chasing her.
I don't chase women. Either they want to be with me or they don't. Either we both put work into the relationship, or it's over.
I have a long time interest in psychology, specializing in relationship dynamics for 30 years.
(Please note, we give the best advice we can based on the information given in a post. For better advice, please include the age of all romantic partners.)