relationship issue

[theann2258]

Ok so I am 18 and madly in love with my best friend. I am thoroughly confused about what to do about our relationship and thought maybe you guys could help so here is the story, and all advice or comments are welcome.

So I met my Robbie in middle school and went to school together all the way through high school and graduated together. But back then we couldn't stand each other, we really never took the time to get to know one another but we couldn't stand each other's guts. Well after we graduated I saw Robbie and his friend out one night and we casually talked and exchanged phone numbers to catch up on old times. Well we began just casually talking and figured out that we were going to the same college in the fall. We met up for lunch one day after the semester had begun and everything started from that point on. We began talking more and more, spending more times with each other, and really getting to know one another. I really liked what I was getting to know about this guy. He made me laugh and I loved that I could be myself around him. I have big issues with trust and opening up to guys due to past relationships. Well we both flirted with each other for a while and he would take me out and before I knew it I had strong feelings for this guy and he felt the same towards me. So then we started dating. Didn't last very long unfortunately before things got overwhelming for him and Robbie just had way too much going on in his life. We broke it off with him telling me that he thought I deserved better and deserved someone who could give me their full attention, something he wasn't able to do at the moment. Well we spent the next 2 months casually seeing each other at school and talking on a rare occasion. While I knew Robbie had never meant to hurt me, my heart was broken when he broke up with me. I really had never fallen in love with a guy before Robbie, but I had fallen in love with this guy. He is the most amazing guy I have ever met in my life. He inspires me to better myself, he encourages me, he does the sweetest things for me for no reason other than just because he can, and he is so modest and humble. He really amazes me and I feel so lucky to have finally found a guy like this. But when we split I really was devastated, I had become so attached to him and so used to having him in my life. He was the one person who could really understand me and that always had my back.

The new semester began in the spring and we had made our schedule the semester before when we were dating. We had signed up for all the same classes together thinking how great it would be. But when we broke up we couldn't change our schedules so we were stuck having to see each other every day. Well I had spent the entire Christmas break getting over Robbie and convincing myself that I was over him and I would be ok with being just friends with him. But the first day of class, the moment I was spending time with him again I realized that I was not over him at all. I still loved him, a lot. I probably was more in love with him now than I had been. So since the beginning of the semester we have been spending every moment we would with each other. We had classes together, went to lunch together, studied together, went out together, and sometimes even carpooled together to school. He became my bestest and closest friend and the spark we had between us kept growing stronger and stronger.

Well now we are kind of at a problem area of our relationship. Robbie and I tell each other that we love each other, we kiss, hold hands, etc, giving off the appearance that we are dating. But every time I ask about moving our relationship forward and giving ourselves the title of a couple, he tells me that he is scared of losing our friendship and doesn't want to date because he is so scared of messing up and losing me. He has told me that I am so special to him and that he loves me more than he has ever loved anyone else and that I am his everything. And I believe him. I'm not naive and I can honestly tell you that he means what he says. I know Robbie like the back of my hand and I have been with him long enough that I know he isn't just saying the words, he means it. And we are not seeing other people either, he is with me most of the day unless he is at work or with his good friend. But even when we are apart he always txts me or IM's me so I know there isn't another girl. So why won't he commit to a relationship with me? More than that is it right for us to try our relationship again? If something goes wrong we could wreck our amazing friendship we have. But I am really struggling with not having the security of a relationship. I'm not a jealous girl, actually I'm a pretty cool, chill girlfriend. But by not having the confidence and security of knowing I'm his girlfriend I'm flipping out. So we are left with a difficult decision: to date and risk everything, or to become just friends and lose the spark we have between us and change our friendship so neither of our hearts get broken and he knows he won't lose me. Please help.

[OneQuestion]

I was like this with a girl in HS. We never got together... but till this day I still think about her, and think 'what if'.

Problem is, you are at the END of highschool. If you get with her, and fall deeply in love, will you guys be able to last a long distance relationship AT SEPERATE colleges? I knew countless people at college who had BF/GF back home, but once they got to college were f*ing some college dude within a week... May want to just stay friends so you don't have a huge falling out when college begins.

[OneQuestion]

please don't double post the exact same thing on different parts of the forum.

[theann2258]

Actually we both have graduated high school. We got to know each other, really know each other outside of high school after we had graduated. We are at the same college together right now and have finished our first 2 semesters together. I knew him in high school but only as the annoying kid that I couldn't stand. It was after we both graduated that I really took the time to get to know him and now that we are college together we have become very close.