Hi everyone, this is my first post and I'm aware of the length of it, sorry, but I'd more that appreciate your feedback. Please read on...
Years ago (in highschool) my friend "C" used to be my best "guy friend" and we had a great fun friendship, he always had my back and I his, we were so close that we could fight without really getting mad at each other. Back then my other friends joked about me and him, but to me it was nonesense and he didn't say anything about it. Junior year he transfered to a different school which was hard on me, I missed him terribly but nonetheless we stayed friends and hanged out after school. It was in that same year that i met "R" another boy our age who quickly grew on me and soon we were officially bf and gf (parents approval and all) I loved "R" like I've never loved anyone before or ever since, but the funny thing is that as much as I loved them both (in different ways) "C" and "R" couldn't stand each other, it got to such a ridiculous point in which they'd literally take turns to visit my house and as soon one stepped in the other will leave in seconds.
Fastforward 6 years after highschool we've all moved on, right after graduation I moved away from my small town and never went back again, not planning to either, that was the main reason of my break up with my now ex bf,"R" who hates my guts (but that's a whole other story) then my friend "C" in the other hand has been unconditional after all this time and he still remembers to call me every single year for Xmas and birthdays.
Now thanks to facebook we're talking again, not just with"C" but with other classmates from hs too ("R" is in my friends list but we just don't talk) I thought it was all good until "C" brought back the school days and told me how he had the biggest crush on me back then and how angry he felt when I started going out with "R". I laughed and said it was ok, told him how everything happens for a reason. At the beginning he wouldn't let it go, he'd asked me if I ever "liked" him, I told him the truth, back then I thought he liked one of my friends and I knew she liked him, that meant he was out of reach and I was ok with that. After laughing some more we agreed to stay friends and just let the pieces fall were they may. Honestly I thought nothing else of it, and we kept talking and he'd call me and i'd call him too, this happened for two more years but now he tells me that he dreams about me quite often and he also keeps asking my other friends wether I talk about him or not, my friend thought I was lying to her when I told her "C" is only my friend, like always.
It makes me uncomfortable because I don't think he is over me yet, I mean he is single and I'm single as well (very confortable and not in a rush to change that) i love him very much but just as my precious silly reliable friend and i don't want to hurt him, I couldn't do that, he deserves better.
So my dilemma right now is to figure out what to do. What do I tell our mutual friends without making "C" look like dork?*How do I explain to him that he is my friend and as much as I love him I can't see him as else.