Did I cheat? What to do..

[mrdistant]

Hi folks,

So, Iv been with my girlfriend for about 8 months now. I am so in love with her its unreal, I see her as the girl I want to settle down with and marry. (Im 23, shes 28 - just so you know were not children).

Over the past few months (since around xmas) things have been quite bad - we argue evertday over the stupidest of things and it seems to be driving us apart. I feel she resents me slightly now and is trying to save herself from getting hurt.

Anyway, there's this girl Ive been friends with for year who has asked me a couple of times to meet up for a drink, but Iv always made an excuse because Im madly in love with my current g/f and wouldnt do that.

However, my girlfriend and I were at the cinema last wednesday, and she fell out with me because we'd missed the 3d version of a film and I said we should just watch the 2d instead. She stormed off. To me this was the final straw, I drove her home and she text saying it was over and to forget her. I agreed that things had gone to far and I dont think we can fix it anymore even though I desperately wanted to.

So... that night, I text this girl - she'd text me the night before asking how I was but I ignored it - just for a chat (and told her Id split with my g/f and was a little upset). After a few texts back and forth, I asked if she still fancied that drink. She said yes. The next day though I immediately regretted it and text saying I didnt think it'd be fair as it was so soon and I didnt want to hurt my g/f (or ex at the time) feelings. She said that was fine and she was there as a friend if I ever needed.

Since then my g/f and I had a chat, I told her I wasnt happy and what needed to be done to make it right, and we've been giving it a shot.

Now here's where I got busted... Last night I was on facebook, and my girlfriend decided to have a wee nosey, and checked my fb emails. Thinking nothing of it, I let her carry on - oblivious that there was mail waiting from this other girl. It said something along the lines of "Hey, sorry Iv not been in touch - broke my phone. Not sure if you still want to meet up but just to let you know that its fine if you dont. I dont want to come between you and your g/f. I hope your ok, speak soon x".

My girlfriends little heart sank and I confessed to everything (above). I feel so terrible and really dont know what to do or say. I guess I just liked the attention and to see if I would be ok without my g/f. I would never have met this girl while I was with someone, or even just after we'd split cos Id be too heart broken. I just hoped it would go away.

Not sure what to do, thanks for reading. Any advice (or abuse) is welcome!

[Doc Durian]

She broke up with you, you contemplated having a drink with another girl (date), and then pulled out of it because of your feelings for your girlfriend, ex at the time, and her feelings.

What's the issue?

Even if you had that drink and then proceeded to root her senseless.. what could be the issue with that?

Your gf broke up with you. She ended the relationship.

She didn't own you.

Man up if she gives you any flak for it.

Besides the point that you didn't go through with it because you still had feelings for her.

Don't be a doormat.

[RightSaidNed]

I have to agree with Doc Durian - she broke up, you considered going out with someone else but didn't. If she has an issue with it, I think you need to reconsider things abit. Not that I wouldn't be disappointed if I were her - not with you, that is, but with myself; "Wow, I nearly screwed this up completely, etc"

Honestly? Like the Doc says, man up alittle. This is in no way cheating, or at least, thats how I see it.

[sookie6]

No you didn't cheat but you showed your gfriend that in the event of a bad patch or even a break up you WOULD overnight replace her...

It's quite bad for a woman to feel that she means so little to her man...you now both have reasons to walk off this relationship...insecurities.

PS: Can we really count this as a break-up or a 'in the heat of the moment' overreaction?

[hrtachevrymomnt]

She broke up with you...because the movie you wanted to see wasn't in 3D and you said just watch the 2D?

Did I miss the part where you explained how reasonable that was?

Break up with her dude. She's crazy.