Don't want to hurt him...

[wolfie91]

The opposite of most "friend zone" topics....

I have a male friend who I have been seeing casually (once a month or so) for quite some time (about 3 years). I don't -think- we are romantic at all.

He did recently invite me to an event with just the two of us. We usually hang out one-on-one, so it's not really a big deal, but I am suddenly aware that he may not be seeing this as platonically as I am. This event is kind of a big deal to him, and he invited just me. I like him. He is a really, really, nice person. But I do not have any romantic interest in him. None. Zero. Nada.

He hasn't really made any advances or anything, and I am loathe to anticipate how he is feeling (maybe he sees it platonically too! I hope). I would like to stay friends, but I don't want to lead him on. I don't reciprocate physical contact, but we banter. I am a very social, friendly person and I don't want to give off the wrong signals. I tell him point-blank about people I am pursuing, etc, and he has never batted an eye.

But I worry...

How can I make sure I'm not confusing him? I want to remain friends if he can, but I respect it if he cannot. =/ But of course I can't tell him that, since he hasn't exactly kissed me or anything.

(I am 19 by the way, in case it matters)

Thanks!

[smackie9]

You can't stop him from having feelings for you even if you don't give any signals....it just happens, been there done that. I know that if they do have feelings, it gets really awkward because they get pissed that you don't feel the same way...oh well such as life. You can't be the one blamed, for they do this to themselves. If it happens it happens. The only thing you can do is let him down easily and hope he gets over it.

[Pilotdxb]

A girl i went to school nce faced a similaar scenario.

She set the guy up with one of her friends (though there was actual chemistry), and they were together for a good three years. Problem solved.

[bulrush]

If you want a successful relationship, you have to start learning to communicate sometime, and this is a good a time as any. Tell him you like him as a friend, but nothing more, BEFORE you RSVP for this big event. If you tell him after you RSVP for the event, he will think you are using him.

So, honesty and communication are the best policy here.