I moved too fast...

[Teezy]

So basically this girl and I were hanging out for a month solid. When I wasn't at work, I was with her, and vice versa.

Our lives became eachother's. We went to the beach everyday, I didn't hang out with my friends, she didn't hang out with hers. We both took it too fast, but then she gave me the "I need to be alone right now because I need to figure out sh!t."

I've heard that line so many times. What I want to know is what should I do?

If I cut off ALL contact, will she miss me and want me back? Or will that show that I don't care.

If I try to contact her, like a phone call to say "hi" or something, will she not like that? Thanks.

[Gigabitch]

Well, "I need to be alone" seems pretty clear.

Don't be so pessimistic, though. Maybe she'll figure out that she misses you and wants to be with you.

Call her in about a week, tell her you're just checking in, wanted to see how she's doing, and tell her you miss hanging out with her. Make it a brief conversation. Don't demand anything from her.

If you don't hear back from her after than, then you can start worrying. Why create drama where it may not exist?

[vashti]

Why don't you ask her if you can check in with her in a week or two to see how she's doing?

[vashti]

Well, "I need to be alone" seems pretty clear.

Don't be so pessimistic, though. Maybe she'll figure out that she misses you and wants to be with you.

Call her in about a week, tell her you're just checking in, wanted to see how she's doing, and tell her you miss hanging out with her. Make it a brief conversation. Don't demand anything from her.

If you don't hear back from her after than, then you can start worrying. Why create drama where it may not exist?

Ha! You beat me!

[Gigabitch]

Too bad I'm not Jewish. We could be the resident yentas.

[Teezy]

I might do that. It's been 9 days since we last hung out, seems like a LOT longer though lol.

I just don't want it to be an akward conversation then hang up and be worse off than I started.

[Ellynn]

Yeah...listen to the other ladies above..

Give her space, but also ask if its ok to check in from time to time... That way it shows you still care...

But with space, she should realize how she really feels about you. If she seems more distant..chances are shes not as into you as she orginally thought.

If she misses you then you could have something there...


Good Luck!

[Gigabitch]

Hey, Teezy- you should check in pretty soon, though. 9 days is getting into "Missing- Presumed Dead" territory.

[Teezy]

Ok I left a message. No response...I'm worried I was just a rebound, just plain FB's in her mind.

[Piggy Bunny]

in a relationship....especially when you guys really REALLY love each other... it does feel like when you guys get too close to each other, you want to hide things because you're afraid it'll cause just the slightest push downwards in the relationship ;_;
i think this is what your girlfriend is feeling, prehaps you too. I know you don't want to be seperated from her. Don't listen to what people say, do what you want to do. If you can't live a week without her, then don't go through all that suffering. She probably can't live without you either. Sometimes, you guys are so close you want to hurt each other without actaully breaking up. Maybe thats how she feels. Even though she says she needs to be alone... she probably wants you to be more closer to her.

[Gigabitch]

Ouch, Teezy. Sorry that happened. Well, maybe you did move too fast, but so did she.

Do you feel used?

[Teezy]

Not at all. I've been used before, and she didn't use me. I didn't let her either. I just don't know what to think. I'm not even sure I should call her again. This just sucks, I miss this girl a lot. I mean, how do you go from being surrounded by someone for 2 months, plus living together before that for 6 months to absolutely no contact? Unless I was a rebound, then she needs to tell me that, so I can forget about her and move on.

[Teezy]

I'm thinking of just sending her an email or something. I mean, I feel so akward leaving a message and telling her how I feel on that.

[vashti]

Why don't you wait another week and try calling her one last time? It is *possible* she just didn't get your message (although that is unlikely). Give her time to miss you. But if you DO call her again, make it the last time.

[Teezy]

I sent her an email. I just can't talk to an answering machine and say what's on my mind. I just can't.

So I let it all out in an email. Nothing soppy, nothing crazily emotional, just exactly what was on my mind. That will be the last attempt at contact I give her, if she wants to contact me, cool. If not, then she's going to get NEXT'd.

-T