Found out some secrets about boyfriend...

[alicechiara]

Hi all,
it's just stupid gullible old me again... I've just found out some things about my boyfriend that I'm shocked about and I feel like such a fool. It's not the same guy that disappeared on me a couple of months back - it's a different guy - and I thought he was genuine, but being the curious person that I am, I googled his real name (will elaborate on that later) and I found out that...

• he's not 37 at all - he's 47! That makes him 25 years older than me, and the same age as my Mum, which disturbs me;
• he's got kids, when he told me he hadn't;
• he doesn't live in the town he told me he did;
• and here's the kicker - he's married. He assured me he wasn't.

I feel like such a flipping idiot. I mean, I'd thought he looked a bit older than 37 when I first met him... but I didn't really know many people of his age (my friends are all in their early 20s). I only had Charlie Brooker from Screenwipe to go by, and I thought he just looked naturally young! :\

So what should I do now? Obviously the relationship can't continue. I don't date married men. >:[ But how can I tell him I've been Googling him? And, indeed, it was a different name to the one he introduced himself to me by - I found out his real name from his debit card.
But he told me that his first name was actually his middle name, and that that was what he went by - but it isn't!

I'm not sure I can ever trust a man again. And I'm thinking I'm way too gullible to survive in the real world. :[

[Petit Papillon]

You tell him you googled him and you found out the truth. Don't need to be fair to him now. Your fault is very very small compare to his. Tell him to **** off and if he'll try to contact you ever again, you will go and tell his wife. This should be enough.

Don't lose trust in men, situation like this happens really seldom. Just next time be sure you date a younger guy

[oldskool83]

by chance, r you sure you got the right guy, i mean there could be two people. just ask gor his drivers liances lol

[alicechiara]

You tell him you googled him and you found out the truth. Don't need to be fair to him now. Your fault is very very small compare to his. Tell him to **** off and if he'll try to contact you ever again, you will go and tell his wife. This should be enough.

Don't lose trust in men, situation like this happens really seldom. Just next time be sure you date a younger guy

Thanks... I'm not used to telling people to **** off but maybe on this occasion I'll make an exception...
I think I will regain my trust in men eventually, but it's hard when the last 4 men you've gone out with have all lied to you and screwed with your mind =P

by chance, r you sure you got the right guy, i mean there could be two people. just ask gor his drivers liances lol

Definitely. There was a pic of him on the site where I found his biography! :\

[Petit Papillon]

It happens you know? It doesn't mean you won't find the good one. There are a lot of good guys. And they are mostly not taken because women choose assholes .

[alicechiara]

It happens you know? It doesn't mean you won't find the good one. There are a lot of good guys. And they are mostly not taken because women choose assholes .

Ah, but they all seemed nice at first! ;P
Yes, I'm sure there are, really. But you know how it can seem.

[Petit Papillon]

You're young, you'll find someone eventually

[cathy22]

well I don't know if I would, "never trust a man again",

just not THAT man.

[peggysue]

omg!!! be honest ,he hasnt ,shock him and leave u have nothing to lose ! and u will meet someone nice just take it slow googling ppl is prettty normal now anyway ,he is the fool not you he is a joke to be honest .dont even let him babble on to you just run and when ur confidence builds up again ul attract a good person.good luck

[alicechiara]

Thanks for the replies. We've officially broken up now, and I'm just feeling empty... but I suppose I'll recover eventually. I guess I'll just have to be patient, really.

[Mathias]

I want to know how to pass for a guy 10 years younger than me.

If I walked in and told a girl I was 19, I think she'd laugh at me.

[codnchips]

There's a lot of dodgy people out there, my last partner had a terrible time with a guy she met, fell in love with and had a child, only to find out he was already married, needless to say they didn't stay together, very sad but amazing how people can live these lies? Mentally ill is all I can think?!

[bcgirl]

You should google his wife and try to find her and contact her somehow by phone or facebook or something. She has a right to know what kinda douchebag she married. You can't allow this guy to get away and prey on the next vulnerable girl that comes along and lie to her and his wife. There needs to be some consequences and harsh lessons he needs to learn in life. You have nothing to lose, it's not like he will ever be a part of your life.

[alicechiara]

I want to know how to pass for a guy 10 years younger than me.

If I walked in and told a girl I was 19, I think she'd laugh at me.

You could probably do it. Just find a girl with low enough self-confidence, and be insistent that that's how old you are...

There's a lot of dodgy people out there, my last partner had a terrible time with a guy she met, fell in love with and had a child, only to find out he was already married, needless to say they didn't stay together, very sad but amazing how people can live these lies? Mentally ill is all I can think?!

I'm not too sure... I'm struggling to understand the whole thing, to be honest. Sorry to hear about your last partner's situation... she must have felt pretty betrayed after she found out=(

You should google his wife and try to find her and contact her somehow by phone or facebook or something. She has a right to know what kinda douchebag she married. You can't allow this guy to get away and prey on the next vulnerable girl that comes along and lie to her and his wife. There needs to be some consequences and harsh lessons he needs to learn in life. You have nothing to lose, it's not like he will ever be a part of your life.

It's an interesting suggestion, but I'm too nice to do that... he told me the marriage wasn't a happy one, and I don't think I could bring myself to make things worse. I still have some affection for him and I couldn't hurt him, even though he lied to me.
Besides, he's cancelled his dating profile as of this morning, so I don't think he'll be meeting any new girls any time soon!

[bcgirl]

It's an interesting suggestion, but I'm too nice to do that... he told me the marriage wasn't a happy one, and I don't think I could bring myself to make things worse. I still have some affection for him and I couldn't hurt him, even though he lied to me.
Besides, he's cancelled his dating profile as of this morning, so I don't think he'll be meeting any new girls any time soon!

don't be too sure of that. He sounds like a compulsive cheat and liar. Ofcourse he would tell you he isn't in a happy marriage. You've caught him red handed....what is he supposed to say? I love my wife but i'm a douche bag? So he lies again... If you got married and your husband fooled around behind your back, wouldn't you want to be informed? At least someone has told you and you can make your own decision whether you want to stay or leave based on facts. I know no body wants to be the one to stir the pot, but in the end you've done a morally good deed if you told the wife.