Does this come across as being a confident nice guy or a wussy nice guy?

[xRJ85x]

Hoping to get some trustworthy, kind ladies' opinions on whether this comes across to you as cool and confident, or weak and desperate.

So about a week and a half ago I went out with a girl on a first date. It went amazing, where I ended up staying at her place that night. Originally, she had canceled this first date on me, saying her friend who was coming in one weekend ended up coming the night before, when we were supposed to go out. She offered to go out the weekend after, so I called her a couple days later to plan it out.

I called her a couple days after the first date, but I had to leave a voicemail. I didn't hear anything for a week, so wanting to give it one more shot, I tried texting her again this past Sunday. I got a text back from her apologizing sincerely that she didn't get my voicemail because she barely checks it. She said she'd "love to" go out again, so I suggested Wednesday, but unfortunately she was leaving that morning to go back home for Christmas. So she asked if I was free Tuesday night. I said yes, so we planned on that.

I just texted her earlier tonight to finalize plans, and then came the punch to the gut: "I'm soo sorry, please don't hate me My friend who's driving me back wants to leave tomorrow night. I've been packing all night I'll be back next week and i can contact you then!"

The average guy would say ditch this girl for flaking twice. And normally the dreaded "I'll get back to you" line she ended with is the end. Unfortunately for me, not only am I really into her, but she was honest the first time she rescheduled. And much more importantly, instead of ignoring my follow up text Sunday, she tried to plan to go out Tuesday before she went home. That points to honesty right there. So my dilemma is how do I respond? Most guys would try to play it off cool, and say "OK cool whatever" but normally that shows the girl you don't really care, so she probably won't get back to you. And the desperate guy would beg her and push her away. So I'm trying to think of a way to seem cool about it, but show that I really like her and want to see her again. So far I've got this:

"Ohhh damn... its cool, don't worry. And no I don't hate you hahah, I trust you. Hope you have a safe trip back and a great time with your family. And yea, def lemme know, still looking forward to seeing you again sometime "

Any advice would be greatly appreciated, ladies!

[Gratedwasabi]

The reason most guys would play it cool like that is because if you act interested despite her constantly pushing you aside and making you jump through hoops, your best case scenario is a relationship where you get pushed aside and jump through hoops.

Resist the urge, say "Have a nice trip." and leave it at that. It's friendly(ish), mysterious, and will eat her the **** up if she likes you. Just chill.

[vertical_sky]

I guess I disagree that this girl is flakey because this is a HORRIBLE time of the year to try to arrange dates. If she's in University, it means finals, probably money constraints (buying all those presents), other Christmas parties, as well as having to be at the beck and call of her family or friends who are taking her places.

I think you should chalk it up to Christmas being a really bad time to start a new dating relationship, cool it until after New Years, and then see if she's flakey then.

[girl68]

Flakey is flakey. She should be able to make plans and keep them. AND if you must cancel CANCEL don't wait for the other party to confirm then say oh yeah, hey about that I can't go.

Leave her alone, the ball is in her court time for her to step up to the plate.

[robertdawson]

Sounds like she is blowing you off. If her plans did change a couple times and she was sincere she would have notified you. Instead, she waited until you talked to her again and then said "oh, it's you! That reminds me, I'm going back home early. Sorry!" I really get sick of people being this way. Just flat out tell someone no and don't waste their time.

I'd say there is a small chance she really did just forget, but if that is the case she probably isn't super interested. The only plans I forget about sometimes are scheduled doctor's appointments, just saying.

Tell her to have a nice trip. If she contacts you again, fine. If she doesn't then forget about her.

[Vanessa]

You do realise this thread is from 2010.