I met a nice guy, but...

[likebutter]

I met a nice guy on awebsite.com and we have been dating for a month, and for the first 3 weeks, he's been calling a lot and we talk on the phone all the time. Now, he doesn't call anywhere near as much, and when I ask him about it, he tells me not to complain about it. I'm not complaining, I am just wondering what the reason for the change is. What do you think is going on inside his head?

[TAVS]

I think he's fake and your SPAM

[Tone]

I think she's for real..

Sounds like he's just a jerk.. put on his "nice, sweet guy" face for the first few weeks of the relationship and now his true colors are starting to show.

Sorry darlin.

[NeoSeminole]

nah, he's not a jerk. That's like saying girls are bitches if they don't put out as much as they did at the beginning of the relationship. Almost everyone here would be like "maybe he's not being romantic enough" or "maybe her hormones are not normal." I'm willing to bet NONE of you would call her a b*tch.

To the original poster, you two have moved past the lovey-dovey phase. New couples always want to spend as much time together as possible to learn more about each other. It's normal behavior. Now that you two have been dating for a month, maybe he doesn't feel the need to call you as much b/c he trusts you or he doesn't want to smother you.

[NeoSeminole]

I've noticed it's always the guys fault for something. If a relationship is struggling, it's b/c the guy isn't putting in enough effort or he's a jerk or some excuse. Crap on you.

[xwfuro]

i semi agree with tone on this.. although it may also be that now you guys are getting deeper into a relaionship he doesnt feel like he needs to call as much?

[Tone]

although it may also be that now you guys are getting deeper into a relaionship he doesnt feel like he needs to call as much?

True.

This could be it, or the same like Neo said, you're just over the lovey-dovey stage (after only 3 weeks.. ouch!) but hey - it's possible I s'pose.

[shh!]

Have you met him in person?

[Hollow]

I'd like to turn this around a put a new perspective on it. Look at it this way...why should you care?

I used to have this problem with an amazing girl I met from Italy. We hit it off for the first few weeks and then she slowed down the communication as time went by.

Instead of being cool about it I spent most of my time wondering why she did that. I still don't know but I wrecked everything because my curiosity got the better of me and I started calling her up when I should have just left her alone.

Long story short, I pushed her further away.

We still speak, not romantically. But I'm glad I no longer wonder why she did the things she did. It doesn't matter. I no longer care what's happening inside her head and I feel a lot better.

I can't say what's in this guys head. But I wouldn't try to figure it out. Just live your own life and let him do the wondering instead.

Good luck.

[clynn]

I think that somtimes people get so excited at the beginning they phone like that all the time.

Then, we have to get back to work and other obligations and so we can't phone all the time for no reason, and now that we know the other person a bit better - we can schedule our phone calls better as well.

OR....maybe as sssh is suggesting, if you haven't even met him yet......then perhaps you're not going to.

[Converse]

Why rush things anyway?!

[Ellynn]

Yeah..its usually like that at first. You talk all the time.......hes extra sweet etc.....and then suddenly.......it changes. I think its pretty common. I wouldn't say hes not into you as much.....but he just assumes he doesn't have to call you as much. Well you let him know how you felt.....and he sounded like a jerk kinda when he told you his reply to that. I would hang on and see what happens. If he continues to be a jerk....and your truly not happy....then move on. THere are other fish in the sea.

[shh!]

I've noticed it's always the guys fault for something. If a relationship is struggling, it's b/c the guy isn't putting in enough effort or he's a jerk.

Very observant!! I agree with this post.

[Only-virgins]

Maybe he just hates to talk on the phone? I hate talking on the phone, he probably did it to humor you for the first few weeks and than said "I hate talking on the fawking phonw about nothing!".

[Ellynn]

I agree with OV..... I hate talking on the phone myself.... I prefer to talk in person. And yeah....those awkward silences or not talking about anything.....really sucks....