Cheating...

[clearskies]

Let's talk about what is considered cheating and what is hardly not?..

Cheating while engaged, married or living with your friend, is that make a difference at all?

What measures / scales / rules to count that as cheating or not? In another post, most of us have agreed on that cheating once is enough to call this person a cheater while others disagreed. Let's have our say here.

[Mish]

Doesn't matter on what relationship is, if someone cheats on me once they are a cheater in my books and there's nothing between us. You can't repair the trust after that. Though, honestly I've never been in such a situation and can't speak from direct experience.

Their past however can be accepted depending on the circumstances. For example I would look differently at cheating on the way out of relationship through a period of separation than a malicious form of cheating to "get back" at the partner.

[Tedel]

I was cheated once and I forgave her that only one time. Her next mistake, she was over and out of my life. Ten years later, last month, I guess, she told me through IM that her love life has been pretty unlucky ever since... and that she valued me a lot.

You see? You cheat, you pay.

[Cain]

Doesn't matter on what relationship is, if someone cheats on me once they are a cheater in my books and there's nothing between us. You can't repair the trust after that. Though, honestly I've never been in such a situation and can't speak from direct experience.

Their past however can be accepted depending on the circumstances. For example I would look differently at cheating on the way out of relationship through a period of separation than a malicious form of cheating to "get back" at the partner.

I agree. I just don't think I could stay in a relationship where someone cheated on me... but since I've never been in the situation I won't know for sure.

And to me, it's only cheating if it's something physical. Emotional cheating isn't really cheating in my opinion, though I do think it is unacceptable.

[bluesummer]

Emotional cheating isn't really cheating in my opinion, though I do think it is unacceptable.

Yeah? Well try going through it. Imagine finding letters your gf wrote via email to some other dude telling them what she wanted to do to him sexually, how much she loved him and couldn't wait to have a future together, and children.........imagine reading that. Tell me it wouldn't break your heart.

I got the regular old physical cheating from my ex, but then I also got this. It killed me inside to read the said things he'd said to me for years written to some other girl who lived across the ocean.

The fact that your partner could deceive you in that way hurts more than you could imagine. It was the final straw for me, and he ended up sleeping in his car for two months. I told my current bf too, that if he ever cheated - physically OR emotionally - even once, he'd be out of my life forever. I mean it, too.

[Cain]

I'm not saying I wouldn't break the relationship off if she did that, but I tend to look at cheating as a physical thing.

[shh!]

most of us have agreed on that cheating once is enough to call this person a cheater .

Actually "most of us" did not agree.

[bluesummer]

I think of cheating as any type of relationship had in secrecy outside the current relationship....whether it be just a physical one, or strictly emotional, or both.

[clearskies]

Cheating is lying and once you lie you lose others credibility and trust. You cant cheat while you are frank and clean. Also, one loses his self-esteem as well as self -confidence once he cheats. No matter how long it takes and how clever a cheater is, he will have to pay specially when his unlucky partner knows about his affair.

[Cain]

Cheating is anything that involves a lie? So, if a woman asks a man "Honey... do I look fat in this dress?"... and he responds "Of course not, baby!"... he's a cheater?

[clearskies]

'while she is really fat'. that is diplomacy and kind gesture of him as not to let her feel so desperate of her looking.

No, what i meant is that no one can cheat without telling a lie. Cheaters are liars when they cover up for their affair. Let's imagine a guy seeing another woman, to cover this affair he will give many reasons to his partner why he was late for home. He will say for example, he had a problem with his car on the way home and the battery of his mobile was dead. He will give various lies just to cover for his cheating. I have never seen someone who is bragging 'I am a cheater' specially to his partner.

[Cain]

Well, yeah, but you need to rephrase your posts to make more sense then.. because it seems to me like you were saying all liars are cheaters.

[clearskies]

At least we agree n that cheating involves lying.

[Illusional]

with all of your recent posts, i'm wondering how insecure you really are about life in general.

raverboy

[thefallenheart]

it makes no difference does cheating if you are Engaged, Married or simpely living together. the former two are just the written accompanyments to a thing that is there.

a mountain on a map does not determine the existance of the mountain. (i could probably find a better example but i am tired)

some one who cheats deserves no trust. they have had love given to them and it obviousely meant nothing to them. so why on Gods green earth should they be given another oppotunity to do the same thing again.

if the victim wishes to forgive then that is entierly their choice. probably i would not. last time i was cheated on i remained on friendly terms with the young lady but i will never agian trust her with anything important. and trust me when i tell you that the loss is hers.