Getting over a breakup

[cheeseburger123]

Hi guys,

I recently broke up with my girlfriend. She was my second girlfriend and we've been together for 8 months and on a LDR for the past 3 months.

She just called me in one random day and tells me that she felt there's a distance between us and she just doesn't love me anymore.

I have totally no idea what I've done wrong and she too said that I've done nothing wrong. She told me that she's just used to being alone and that she just doesn't miss me or love me anymore. We have never argued before and I certainly put her above everything else. In fact I call her and talk to her every single day but she's just a little bit quiet. But still I just can't figure out what went wrong and why she has to abandon our relationship. Why is she so selfish and not think about me?

I'm just completely devastated and I just have no mood to do anything. Everything around me just reminds me of her. I took an emergency leave from my work and just slacked around at home. I even feel like closing down my Facebook because I just can't stop checking what she's up to. The thought of her leaving me and being with someone else in the future just kills me.

Can someone please tell me how do I get over this?

[goodb2]

Hey man, i have literally just broken up with a gf of 4 years so i know how it feels.
It can feel utterly helpless buttt I think after a few relationships with a painful break up the only real advice i can give you is keep busy, work in the week and friends evenings and weekends it will eventually pass. And for me it works to let yourself be angry at them for leaving you for no good reason after giving your all , thinking its their loss helps me.
Also my now ex has gone to america for 4-5 months so her not being around at all helps a lot, delete her facebook and phone number. No contact will help, 'time heals all wounds unless you pick at them'.

[merdene]

Yeah it hurts, the thought of her being with another man kills you. I know but I don't have a clue how to deal with it too. But maybe you should just accept the loss and move on.

[cmacattack1]

Unfortunately it takes two people for a relationship to work and move forward. No matter how much you care about somebody, it doesn't matter a thing if they aren't able to reciprocate it. While she felt like she loved you before, she doesn't feel that feeling anymore. We change our mind all the time, and our feelings change all the time. Not to mention she may be looking at other people but she tried to spare your feelings. But no matter what the reason, whether you did anything wrong or not, the result is the same: she doesn't feel that way anymore.

So what can you do? Instead of focusing on her and how to get her back, focus on you and how you can make yourself happy? Are there some hobbies you had that you kind of let up when you spent more time with your girlfriend? Get back into those. Same with friends, start spending more time with them and rebuilding the friendships that probably suffered when you spent alot of time with her. Going to the gym and getting in shape will make you feel better about yourself. Concentrating on work and getting a promotion, or on school to help better yourself career-wise is not a bad move either. Basically, it's about improving you and making you a better person coming out of this relationship. It hurts, and you are going to think about her all the time, but what are you going to do? The longer you keep focusing on her, the harder it is going to hurt and it's going to kill you when she has a new boyfriend (which she will), although for me that was what helped me kill any thoughts of us getting back together.

You have to ask yourself: will this honestly help me feel better? If it does, then you do it. I say this for situations like when you check her facebook? Does checking it make you feel better? Does it hurt and make you cry? If so, why do it? You have to exercise yourself some self control. Hide her stories in your minifeed, and her best friends too because they will write on her wall and all that shabang. You are really in complete control of checking it, so don't do it. You don't want to have to delete her and then have to crawl back again when you realize that you don't mind having her as a friend or who knows what could happen in the future. But it's out of your hands. Take a deep breath, focus on yourself, and when you finally find happiness within, you will realize that you don't need her in your life to be happy. You will find somebody that will increase your happiness after. I promise.

It takes alot of hard work and you have to keep yourself focused every day. You will hit those ups and downs. But it will get better and your attachment to her will fade as long as you don't keep in contact with her. Funny how when you stop chasing her, she'll find a way to pop up back in your life. And then you can decide from there if you are better off on your own without somebody that would treat you like this and break your heart. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

One step at a time. Everything will be okay no matter how it works out.

[hurt_confuzd]

[url=http://stuffr.net/p/icn9nwb.jpeg]Stare at this for 45 minutes[/url], and you'll feel better.