I really need advice for my relationship

[bp7990]

Well, to start, we both are in our early 20's and college students. Our relationship started great, but lately, we seem to get on each others nerves more often. I love her, and she loves me, but just the little things come in more now. We have been dating since last summer and we currently live together. What is starting to bother me though, and I don't know why, is thinking about her previous partners. She has had sex with 8 different people, 50% relationships 50% "friends". It just bothers me because this is mostly only over a 3 year period, when you consider the 2 long term relationships into it. She also had experimented with a handful of different drugs, unlike me, who has only smoked weed. I love her, and she says she has changed from that lifestyle and her "sexual liberation" phase, but still, lately it has always been on my mind.

Is this alot? If they were all relationships, I wouldn't care, but only half were. I don't know why it bothers me now, as it didn't before, but I really want to not act distant from her, but I feel apathetic now when we have arguments. If I try to talk to her about this kind of stuff, she usually gets defensive and I feel guilty.

I'm just scared. I've never felt the apathy in arguments that I feel now. I can just stare at the ceiling now, and just not care. I'm worried our relationship is going to go downhill quick, and that in turn makes me worry about her past. I never cared about this stuff with people before, but for some reason it bothers me when its her. I don't like picturing her doing all this stuff.

I need help. Most of my friends have never had a long term relationship, and the ones that have have been cheated on. I don't know how to get over this, I have nobody to talk to, and I don't want to see this relationship fall apart, but I also don't want to have to deal with these images in my head for the whole relationship.

I need advice.

Thanks

[BackUpOrGetStng]

It's going to be a self fulfilling prophecy. You're going to keep up the insecurity, you two will break up, she will **** a bunch of people.

You should break up with her since you can't deal with her past, and it's getting worse. You could also cheat on her to make yourself feel better, and so you can throw it at her if she ends up cheating on you. The way things are going with you two, she's probably going to check out of the relationship soon and is probably already lining up your replacement.

[rgonz124]

Im no expert either man, im 24 and here is my opinion...

1. Your still in college, and living with somebody (nowdays) sounds easy and cool, but its harder that everybody thinks, thats why people before just lived together once they're married, because they knew 100% everything about the other person. Still, I admire you guys took that step, but once you are in a relationship that serious, you need to be more responsible, loyal, and honest.

2. That's her past, you have yours, you made mistakes also. The way I usually see it is: You felt in love with this girl, and thats the past, and there is nothing you guys can do to change it, but you guys can do something to make you guys feel comfortable in the relationship, together though. Also, what if she would've been a girl with no experience? no sex-mates and drug experiences? She'll be the one saying that its suck that YOU smoked weed and had sex with other people. you dont choose when to fall in love, you just fall and need to accept some things (turst me its going to be hard)

3. If it becoming a really issue in your head, think it this way: Did you ever thought to have this issues at 20?? during college?? you dont have to brake up, just to slow down and get to know better, as i said, maybe you moved w/her to fast.

I repeat, if you think its worth it, communicate and work your as* off, because trust me, its going to be hard, really hard; and its just the start... but at the end (in my opinion) that commitment its really worth it; just choose the right time

[Boisdevie]

My GF has slept with people before me. I really don't give a toss how many. It's the past. If you can't deal with that they your relationship is already as good as over.