No idea where this is leading

[moeno]

oh well, I hope he doesnt read this lol, but here is my situation.

I knew this guy from work and though we do not have much work dealings with each other I got to know him better through a mutual friend (colleague) and because I sensed his interest in me I asked him out. He sounded surprised but nonetheless very happy and went out with me. Things went very well and lasted a whole day, from noon to night, and from then on our relationship seemed to improve and before I knew it quite a few people at work who are also his friends seemed to think there is something going on between us. And all along I meant between us was more of an emotional connection, we never kissed nor hug or anything, but I would confide to him about things and he would, to me at times.

Then one time he told me of his uncertainty of his career opportunities (he is a foreigner, and he knew if he get into any trouble he can easily be booted back home; and even if he stayed he might be regarded as a second class citizen) and working in a foreign country was more like an exposure for him and there will come a time he will go home. I told him i will missed his company and he seemed all the more worried. He told me he thought I was a very wonderful girl, and that I should consider seeing more guys or something. I took it as a 'friend's advice' at that point because technically speaking, he isnt my boyfriend. But I felt kinda crushed because it sounded like a rejection to me. For that while I began to wonder if I'd been reading all the signs wrongly, its clear to me he loved my company and would try to chat up with me whenever he could find the opportunity to bump into me at work. And telling me that is simply a "nice rejection' without acting as a meanie....he could have outright refused my date and i wouldnt bothered myself with him anymore but he did not. He allow me to sink in further.

anyway that was a stand alone incident and subsequently he asked me out too, and we begin to hang out alot more often so I'd pretty much forget about that comment he made, until he mentioned that he has always thought it is better to marry/date a girl of similar background, race etc and that it will be alot harder to handle if the girl was a foreigner and there will be more issues popping up if they were to marry. I told him if that is what he felt then perhaps he should only consider getting a girlfriend when he went back home. He nodded and said that it was actually his intention all along. I don't really get it why he has to tell me all this, when it was really easier to "not get too involved with a foreigner!"

that conversation took place months ago anyway and we still hang out often, but as friends and I sometimes wondered if all he sees in me is just "friendship' material except that he continues to flirt with me, even at workplace now and then till at least half the office knew - nobody seemed too bothered about it although he seemed to be paying more attention to the other male colleagues I'm friends with and I sorta sense this other guy liking me but for some reason he hates him (without a reason, when I asked him why he just said he cannot stand the way he look!) He gets inquisitive occasionally if I'm yakking on the phone and if I said I was talking to a guy he would pretend to get jealous.

A good friend of his once told me that he is a rather shy guy and really tend to screw things up saying the wrong things at the wrong time but I sometimes feel even then his friend cannot know everything about him, and his friends opinion is that he likes me and often teases him when I'm around.

so I still dont really know if he likes me or not, and this has gone on for like 3/4 of a year. (and I thought asking someone out is usually a decent indication)

[King Zarathu]

Holy shit! Approximately 9 months of this? Okay, you two definitely know each other so there shouldn't be any bullshit going on. In this situation, I just see that you two are playing games.

Just out of curiosity--what ARE your races, ages, and nationalities?

Quit playing games and do something to REALLY get it into his mind. If it were me I would tell him how you feel, and you never really know, do you? You never know. Even though he's saying all of that, he could have a burning desire for you deep inside.

When telling him, if you get positive responses, kiss him on the cheek and see what happens.

[moeno]

well it wasnt intentionally game playing, but i'm afraid to ask him especially with what he'd said, i just do not have that courage to ask him anymore. its just that i cant resist not hanging out with him (and i get the feeling he might be like that too, but i dont really know)

we are both in our twenties, same age.

[King Zarathu]

race and nationality?

Also, he's leaving, so you might as well get it over with. If you don't have the courage to ask him, WHO DOES?!

You need to do it, or you'll have me to deal with

[moeno]

im leaving out the last two for fear it will point out to exactly where i am, and in case he or someone we knew read this....sounds terribly silly but im such a coward at times.

he said hes thinking of going home, he didnt say when because he has not made up his mind.

[King Zarathu]

Now is your chance to give him a reason to stay! Go get him tiger!

[moeno]

i know if one of us dont do something this will drag on even longer, but i just dont want to be the one initiating things anymore...