To fake it or not to fake it....What do I do?!

[sjerbert]

I've been faking my orgasms for like...ever. I usually masturbate to orgasm after my previous partners & I (and now my husband) have sex but I'm extremely frustrated now. This is my second marriage and I faked with my first husband and we were married for 13 yrs. I really dont want to fake my way through this marriage. What in the hell do I do?? My husband pleasures me like none before but I still cant reach. orally or by penetration. I've tried toys but still nada...only by hand. Can someone offer me advice on what to do..technique, positions, something??

[smackie9]

You have to show him how you do it so he can do it durning oral and you can also masturbate during penetration.

[smackie9]

BTW stop faking it!! gosh if he finds out you have been doing that it will crush him....it's dishonest.

[sjerbert]

I have tried to do that and found it to be like an instruction course. wasnt very sexy. I also do the masturbation thing while we have sex and i end up poking him with my nails or something. It seems like I require a different kind of pressure down there. If it isnt hard and fast then i just dont climax.

[sjerbert]

BTW stop faking it!! gosh if he finds out you have been doing that it will crush him....it's dishonest.

You're right...I should stop faking it but thats just it, I DONT want to crush him. He gets great satisfaction in knowing that Ive reached.

[HeartIsAching]

If you fake it, he'll never try to get better.

He'll also be upset that you're lying to him... I would.

We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.

[DannyH]

Instead of you using your hand during sex. Grab his hand and control his fingers with yours the way you want to make sure you pop off. Don't need to even say anything just do after a couple of times he may get the picture. stop faking it. Seriously you fake it you make him think he is doing it right so things will never change. You guide him and show him how to get you off and you really get off he is gonna keep doing it the way that works.

[sjerbert]

Instead of you using your hand during sex. Grab his hand and control his fingers with yours the way you want to make sure you pop off. Don't need to even say anything just do after a couple of times he may get the picture. stop faking it. Seriously you fake it you make him think he is doing it right so things will never change. You guide him and show him how to get you off and you really get off he is gonna keep doing it the way that works.

Thanks....I'll give it a shot. Hope he doesnt get frustrated like the others. sigh.

[DannyH]

Just gotta be a little subtle about it teach him but make it feel like he is not being taught. Not knowing something and having to be taught it can be embarrassing to some people so you remove that whole feeling of being taught something you both win by having a better sexual experience

[HeartIsAching]

Just gotta be a little subtle about it teach him but make it feel like he is not being taught. Not knowing something and having to be taught it can be embarrassing to some people so you remove that whole feeling of being taught something you both win by having a better sexual experience

Not if you're a grownup. Told my wife once - "I have no ego about that. Tell me or show me what you'd like."

It works well.

[DannyH]

Not if you're a grownup. Told my wife once - "I have no ego about that. Tell me or show me what you'd like."

It works well.

Not all "grownups" are mature enough for that

[girl68]

You're right...I should stop faking it but thats just it, I DONT want to crush him. He gets great satisfaction in knowing that Ive reached.

...then continue faking and getting yourself off alone. He's going to be crushed regardless. You'll either tell him or he'll find out you've been faking it the whole time or you'll instruct him and he'll be hurt he needs instruction after all this time.

For the ladies who don't fake... our men have learned through trial and error and some instruction how to pleasure us some of it was hot, some not so hot. For the partners who last have figured it out. Your man is screwed he thought he figured it out and apparently he hasn't.

[ctr916]

I've been faking my orgasms for like...ever. I usually masturbate to orgasm after my previous partners & I (and now my husband) have sex but I'm extremely frustrated now. This is my second marriage and I faked with my first husband and we were married for 13 yrs. I really dont want to fake my way through this marriage. What in the hell do I do?? My husband pleasures me like none before but I still cant reach. orally or by penetration. I've tried toys but still nada...only by hand. Can someone offer me advice on what to do..technique, positions, something??

Have you tried any relaxation techniques?

[tgoodspe]

If it isnt hard and fast then i just dont climax.

Haha sorry, that made me laugh, what does he do, f**k you like a baby?

If you're getting closer and you know you COULD get there. Then just simply tell him to go harder and faster. Honestly, guys like when the girl talks like that during sex, it makes a man feel like he's getting you there and giving you what you want. Don't just let him sit there and f**k you slow and then run to the bathroom after to finish it off haha, just tell him to f**k you like an animal so you'll orgasm. I'm sure you'll both be happier with that result. haha

[sjerbert]

Well...as I expected, it became quite arduous. I got frustrated and gave up. He did make me squirt tho which was great. Nevertheless, he used his hand to take me there so atleast now I dont have to pleasure myself. Maybe I'm one of those women who can only orgasm by hand.