Need a guy's point of view please

[Fluffyducky]

I'm single but wasn't looking for a relationship. Like anyone, I guess I'd like one, but happy to wait for the right person to come along. I have met someone online (not through a dating site) who is pursuing me. Short story, I mentioned that I might be travelling to his country next yr and I think he may be 'grooming' me for a holiday romance or to put it bluntly a bit of fun while I'm there, but I'm not into that. I feel like he's trying to convince me that he's into me so that I will go along with it, but to be honest, I have no idea about this stuff so if you could tell me your thoughts I'd really appreciate it. I guess I'm like a lot of ppl on here...I just want someone genuine. Thanks in advance for your help.

Pros
pointed out several times that he msgs me as soon as he wakes up every day
tells me i can msg him whenever I want to on skype (so he's accessible through that)
says he loves me (but it's only been like 2 wks and I told him I wanted to go slow and get to know each other properly)
says he wants to spoil me and take me to wherever I want to go when I come over
says he can't wait to hold me, kiss me yada yada
constantly compliments me
seems to spend a lot of time with me but almost every time I'm not around he's chatting with other women. I haven't stalked him btw...I just notice that's the case when I come online and he hasn't realized I am on yet (not sure if pro or con but seems suspicious to me)


Cons
says he does not have Facebook
Will not give a last name or town
Does not use a webcam or even screenshare
Every day without fail tries to bring the conversation around to sex
constantly asks for more pictures of me
Told me he hardly ever adds people to skype, but has added a new people within the week or 2 of meeting me.

Looking at these lists, I think I just answered my own question, but the confirmation from a guy's point of view would be really helpful. Thanks guys

[masticate]

Is this normal behavior in your part of the world?

I'm going to guess that it's not.

[nico88]

Honestly dude sounds shady to me.

Like I'm getting a 20 years older than he's telling you, still living at home in his mother's basement kind of vibe from him. The fact he's telling you he loves you but not his last name is weird shit..

I'd seriously rethink meeting him in person. I mean you said you're waiting for the right guy to come along right? I'm not a fortune teller or anything but I'm pretty sure this is not that guy.

[HeartIsAching]

Uh... you've heard of internet creepers? You've found one.

If you really want to see what he's made of, tell him you might come to see him, but in a public place, and that you'll definitely not be sleeping with him - see how he reacts.

[Fluffyducky]

Is this normal behavior in your part of the world?

I'm going to guess that it's not.

No masticate it's not normal which is why I'm asking. I can't claim to think like a guy so I figured maybe it's possible that he's just being careful seeings we still don't know each other that well and maybe he's developing feelings faster than he anticipated. He acts like this is the case. In your opinion, what would make you think he was genuine? For example, sharing more personal details, pics, calls etc? Sorry, but I know that guys can see things in other men that women often can't see and your feedback is really helpful.

[smackie9]

I agree with HIA, this in an internet predictor. There is a lot of garbage out their that will take advantage girls and guy on the internet. If it makes you uncomfortable, and doesn't feel right, that's because its not. Block him, stay away from him.

[masticate]

No masticate it's not normal which is why I'm asking. I can't claim to think like a guy so I figured maybe it's possible that he's just being careful seeings we still don't know each other that well and maybe he's developing feelings faster than he anticipated. He acts like this is the case. In your opinion, what would make you think he was genuine? For example, sharing more personal details, pics, calls etc? Sorry, but I know that guys can see things in other men that women often can't see and your feedback is really helpful.

It's possible he's simply an oddly developed character, yes. It doesn't mean that's what I think is true, but I won't say it's impossible.

Some other posters seem to indicate it's something to be vigilant and wary about but if you don't get that sense from the situation then I don't see the harm in proceeding cautiously.

I think if you believe that the only thing holding you back is an assessment of his authenticity then there might be ways you can decipher whether it's a con or not. Check and cross-reference your correspondence for logical consistency. Look for errors or contradictions and then think about what they could mean. If you determine that his story has been consistent thus far, and simply unusual in that he is peculiar or eccentric, then it might not be as harmful as others have indicated.

However, I think at best (in other words, should it happen to not be a total con) you're going to encounter somebody with some serious anxiety problems or possibly even schizotypy, which, again. .... isn't necessarily a reason in itself to reject somebody, depending on your personal feelings and your predisposition.

Realistically speaking I think it's a scam or con of some sort and you should cease contact. If I were you and I wanted more information, I would create a sock-puppet persona and initiate contact with him again, this time being effusive and flirtatious, with no reserve. See how he responds and what he tries to coerce you into doing.

[nico88]

I'd ask to Skype or do some sort of video chat with him. So you can see his face and see if he is really who he says he is. If he says no to that then I'd take that as as a red flag..

[Fluffyducky]

Thanks guys. You're brilliant! I have taken your advice, told him if we meet, it's in public, no sleeping together etc. We'll be chatting on the phone within the next week and I'll keep my eyes peeled so if anything shows itself as odd I'll be out of there, so I'll see how it goes.

[Rowen]

At worst, this guy is an internet creeper like HIA said...
At best, this guy is a manipulator and is looking to take advantage of any situation with you he can make.

Either way you look at it, if you don't leave, you lose.

[bulrush]

This dude sounds shady to me also.

[Wakeup]

Ask him if his wife will be joining you on your sight-seeing adventures and then just wait to see what he has to say. Then if he actually comes back on line and doesn't just disappear on you, ask him to go on cam with you and if he won't then don't even meet him. He's shady due to some reason and you'd do well for yourself NOT TO FIND OUT WHY OR HOW.

I'd be very worried for you if you were my daughter/friend. Have you told anyone who loves you what this dude is on about?

[masticate]

I think it would be hilarious to create a new persona and set him up for a date or ... more likely, a financial exchange, and totally dupe him by informing the authorities.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Romance_scam

[HeartIsAching]

Ask him if his wife will be joining you on your sight-seeing adventures and then just wait to see what he has to say. Then if he actually comes back on line and doesn't just disappear on you, ask him to go on cam with you and if he won't then don't even meet him. He's shady due to some reason and you'd do well for yourself NOT TO FIND OUT WHY OR HOW.

I'd be very worried for you if you were my daughter/friend. Have you told anyone who loves you what this dude is on about?

This is brilliant!

[smackie9]

None of this is worth it, just dump the guy already.