What's the definition? The guy's point of view please???

[pinkttulips]

I would like to know what you guys think (and girls your welcome to post your opinions also). What is the definition of a "break", not a break up, but a "break". What are the rules from a guys point of view, when it comes to a "break".
Thanks in advance!

[trisha]

am a girl, if i say break, i want to have some time evaluating my feelings, if I say break up, that's for good and no turning back...

my Ex, likes to have that break...now i realize, he wants to have a BREAK sometimes because he finds another girl interesting, he will only come back to me once he's sure that I'm more interesting than this new girl...good thing he was just my Ex, i hate him and his so called BREAKS or whatever...

[Doc Durian]

Break for a man depends. If he's really into you but needs to sort out his feelings, thoughts, emotions, etc... then it's all kosher.

If he wants to explore any other avenues at his disposal while sorting out his feelings, thoughts, emotions, etc without losing something potentially great... then it's not kosher, for you to remain.. until you're both of one mind or you call him a tosser to his face and dump your drink on his product styled hair-do

[reeba]

Why did you 'screw up' during your break, and now your girlfriend is mad at you? What a guy thinks the rules are doesn't matter if the girlfriend doesn't agree with them.

Best to establish the 'break' rules up front. Personally I don't understand this 'break' thing. You obviously aren't happy, you want a break to see if you can trade up, and if it doesn't work out you are willing to settle back into the status quo.

Guys seem to think a break means they can have sex with other people. But if you actually say that to your girlfriend she will most likely say if that is what you want, then consider this break a permanent thing.

By the way my sister's fiance wanted a 'break', knocked up some girl he met in the bar, and now she is on welfare living in a trailer with her grandma. I say that is a huge reflection of his character. Why would she want to take that back after the 'break'.

[pinkttulips]

thanks for the respones. Now another couple questions... how long should a break last, and if you and the person did not reconcile, do the breaks just move on to blow offs or are they suppose to move to a "break up" conversation type thing?

[Mish]

From my experience, break is a polite way of saying I want to break up.

I still don't understand why people have them.

[Aeradalia]

A break precedes a break up... similar to the 'two week notice' you give your job before you quit.

Best to use this time to find someone better... or get used to being on your own again... because the break up is sure to follow... or a series of 'on again, off again' scenarios as the relationship undergoes the death throws before an official break up.

[pinkttulips]

Update: I went over to his house on Friday to give him back his games that he lent to my son and to also break up with him... I asked him while I was there what is going on with this break he put us on (April 16th) and he said that he has been so stressed out at work that he hasn't had a chance to think about it... so I told him I have been thinking about it and decided that out of respect for myself, that I didnt want to be on a break with a guy who wasn't sure if he wanted to be with me... he said he understood, I gave him a hug, he wiped some tears away and I said good bye and left. now thinking more about this, if he calls later and wants me back, the answer is going to be no. There is someone out there who is more compatible for me and more mature. He put us on this break April16th, a week after he told me he wanted to move in with me towards the end of summer and was actually talking to me about a future at least a month prior to this. Advice guys: Think twice before putting that girl you say you love on a break, because its very possible that during that little break you put her on, she could be thinking about the relationship too adn you may loose her for good. You may find that the grass wasn't greener on the other side (if that was the reason for tha break), or that you little fears that caused those walls to go up between the 2 of you weren't really worth the trouble and it could have been that you could have worked out those fears with her instead of pushing her away... I'm so tired of having to walk on egg shells when it comes to men and their issues, and I'm not talking all men... there are some who are strong and mature, but the others are the weaker sex imo and they need counsiling and have no right dating until they deal with their issues what ever they are...

[Mish]

Good for you tulips

Though, putting people on breaks is not gender specific. The same amount of women (if not more) put guys on breaks while they "figure out shit" as well.

[IndiReloaded]

Its a bit of a non-sequitur, but I think more young people should have a voluntary 2 week - 2 month "breaks" before getting married. Or an extended period of long distance to put the relationship in perspective. I think if more couples actuallythought about the quality of their relationship before committing, that there would be fewer divorces.

[lesa]

I would like to know what you guys think (and girls your welcome to post your opinions also). What is the definition of a "break", not a break up, but a "break". What are the rules from a guys point of view, when it comes to a "break".
Thanks in advance!

To me, a break is so that he can do things that he would feel guilty about doing if he was not on "break". I would break up completely if I heard those words from my guy.

To me, a break and space are different. A break is a mini break up (where they may do who knows what and then tell you that the relationship was on break so they could do those things.) A space is recommended and can help strengthen a relationship. You simply spend little or no time with them.

[Yggdrasil]

To me, a break is getting away from all the struggles of daily life. Usualy when I take a break, I mean by that time off without my wife. I call it 'me-time'.

That doesn't involve other women or cheating. It's a few days to a week I spend in solitude to get (back) in touch with myself.

What I do during my 'break' are things like: reflecting on life, meditating, soulsearching, having long walks all by myself, flying my kites, daydreaming, reading, things like that. My wife does similar.

To me it's a spiritual thing.

But not everyone is the same.