43 year old guy, what does he want?

[idoubtit]

he is more than 10 years older than me, still single, never been married, a professional trader.
The first time I met him, I was very attracted to him. It's rare for me to get attracted by guys so much older than me. We had a dinner together. I did think he enjoyed the conversation as much as I did. But he left me right after dinner. I was kinda disappointed since he didn't seem to eager to spend more time with me.
Then I didn't hear from him till one or two weeks later, he emailed me saying that he liked me a lot, I am blablabla(flattered me), and he would like to get together to try something I have never done before. I relied,asking for example what? he said, for example a show he mentioned about. I thought he was suggesting the show to me to go by myself since he saw the show already before, so I relied as simply as"I will check it out when I have time".
then one or two weeks went by, till he emailed me again, saying that he didnt hear from me for a while and maybe I am very popular and being busy dating? he said he still would like to get together when I have time. I relied saying I would like to get together too. Then this time again he suggested that show, and suggested to pick me up after work to see that show together. Then I realized that last time he meant to see the show together but I misunderstood.

So everything seemed fine. We went for the show, I enjoyed the show, but the show ended around 10pm, it was still kinda early, again he drove me back home directly without spending more time with me alone. I was very disappointed again. He didnt wanna know more about me?
On the way back to my apart, he did ask me if I went out with my friends a lot and what I usually did for fun during weekends. I said dancing.
So when he dropped me off, he said next time if I wanna go dancing or do something fun, I can call him.

So that was it.
When he left me, there was even not a kiss bye, only shaking hands.

Did I do anything wrong?
Why I can not figure out what he wants?
He is not like any other guys I went out with who had interest in me. Other guys gave me strong signals that they were very interested in me on the first and second dates. But I never went out with 43 year old guy, that's another problem.

What is he looking for?
A friend?

[Aeradalia]

Sounds like he's taking his time... perhaps he is more old-fashioned? Or maybe he simply doesn't have a lot of experience with dating?

[idoubtit]

do you think he has interest in me at all?
can I ask him?
it might be a stupid question to ask but I am so confused.

[idoubtit]

please help me out~~~~ I am so attracted by him that I could not stop thinking about him at all, but since I am a shy gal, I don't know what to do except for waiting for his signals.
How to let him know that I like him much without scaring him away?

thanks.

[Indignant]

oh puhlease, he is 43, nothing will scare him away

[Aeradalia]

I think he likes you... and he may be waiting for you to take the initiative on a few things as well --- to show that you are interested too.

[Mish]

he drove me back home directly without spending more time with me alone.

When he left me, there was even not a kiss bye, only shaking hands.

This is close to what I would do if I didn't like the date with the person. When I shake hands with a girl it's a good indication I won't be seeing her again. If a girl finishes the night by shaking hands with me, it always ends up as an expression of disinterest.



I could be wrong

[idoubtit]

Mishanya, he shook hands with me when he left me on the first date too.

I am confused about this shaking-hand move too.

I thought he didn't wanna see me again at that time

[vashti]

Did he pay for your dates? If he did, I'd say he is just shy.

[idoubtit]

he paid for all the dates. and the show he invited me to is very expensive.

[vashti]

Males like their money. They don't throw it around on just anyone, and sometimes won't even spend it on girls they like.

I'd say he is shy. You need to be more encouraging to make this easier for him.

[lvguru]

I think he's married. Think about it: He's busy for weeks at a time, he contacts you via email, and he never goes home with you or invites you home with him.

[idoubtit]

come on ivguru, we only saw each other for twice!! if he does invite me to his home I would get scared!~~
He told me he just broke up with his ex bf several months ago.
Why would he lie to me?
of course the fact that he is still single now(if he didn't lie to me) is worrisome too coz he might have commitment problem.

[idoubtit]

sorry I meant his ex gf

[Aeradalia]

I vouch for shyness on his part... and with you being shy too... it'll take a little time to 'break the ice'... so just give it time. He'll come around if he really likes you.

Also there's nothing wrong with a little initiative on your part..