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Thread: How to let an older and "unattractive" man understand that I find him attractive?

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    How to let an older and "unattractive" man understand that I find him attractive?

    Hi!
    I'm a 22 years old girl.
    I've just fallen for a guy thats about 10-15 years older than me. I don't think I want to enter a serious relationship, but something less ambitious. I'm into him and want to spend some time and have sex.
    I study full time at the university, he study part-time and work.
    I don't know how to put it, but he is not attractive physically. I would say he is unlucky with his looks. He reminds me a little of stereotype of loser nerd, but without the socially awkwardness, or maybe a bit, but he is not shy of talking to me and making conversation. I find it cute! But I'm really attracted to him! He has a fun personality and actually new I think he is really hot!
    We are interested in the same things and the conversation flows good.
    I'm pretty and cute myself, above average. And I just don't know how to make him understand how attracted I am to him. It seems like he avoids physical contact and eye contact; in other words; he doesn't flirt. I got the feeling that he is afraid of being a "pervert" (because I'm so young), but I don't know. Facebook says that he is single. Of course he may not be interested in me in a sexual way, but at least I feel I have to try something. Do you have any tips to make him mine?

    Sorry for my bad english, I'm swedish

  2. #2
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    Your English is much more concise and grammatically correct than most native English speakers on this site.

    Ask him to come get a drink with you after class.

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    You sound like a troll... just because you seem too good to be true, like any unattractive man's dream girl.

    Anyway, I agree with BackUp as to what you should do. Be upfront, he'll get the message.

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    if u have to tell that u are attractive then most and bullshit is cause u r ugly and insecure about your look.
    so stop that bullshit.

    and just tell him what u feel . but dont forget that he is older so if things dont work out cause of that u knew it

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    Haha! Thanks!

    I'm shy when it comes to guys or not used to make the first move myself. I get quite much male attention, and have been comfortable with being the passive one.
    I think the idea of tanking drink is good. So I'm a little afraid how he will take it. I don't want to be fussy, but on the other hand: I really want to show interest. Well, yes, I will try this next time I see him. I will try to man up and ask him out for a drink or a coffee! Unlucky for me I don't see him until next week. Hehe

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    I'm not insecure about me looks in general. I'm not a supermodel (and don't want that look), but a little above average. But I'm a little insecure here, because I think that maybe my looks or age make me inappropriate for him. Maybe he would see me as young and "high" on myself or something. I have this idea that mostly people seek something similar the them self; fat people are attracted to fat people for example. So I'm not a troll.

    I don't feel comfortable with telling him. It seems to blunt

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sansa-sansa View Post
    Sorry for my bad english, I'm swedish
    Blanda upp then kill yourself.

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    I don't get the killing part?

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    Don't ask him for coffee, ask him for a drink. You're not looking for a boyfriend remember?

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    You're right! But 2 pm? Not to early? Don't want to be seen as an alcoholic

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sansa-sansa View Post
    You're right! But 2 pm? Not to early? Don't want to be seen as an alcoholic
    Who cares what you seem like? You don't want a BF, remember?

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    By the way: would asking him out for a drink be enough to make him get my intention? Or should some serious flirting be necessary? I love to flit, don't get me wrong, but flirting is a two way thing. If he is still just platonic towards me, what should I do then?

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    Quote Originally Posted by HeartIsAching View Post
    Who cares what you seem like? You don't want a BF, remember?
    I don't want to be seen as an alcoholic by anyone. Haha. And I know for myself that it would be a turn off if I found out that a guy was a hard drinker

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sansa-sansa View Post
    I don't get the killing part?
    Considering you're Swedish you probably don't understand most things

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    Quote Originally Posted by DoesntMatter View Post
    Considering you're Swedish you probably don't understand most things
    Ja, you're probably right. But I found it kind of brutal

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