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Thread: A friend in need of some advice

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Kansas
    Posts
    51

    A friend in need of some advice

    Okay, long story short, my closest friend who helped me when I hit wall trying to get a girl has hit his own wall.
    He has been seeing a girl I have known since 1st grade for a good 3 or 4 months now. Last time I saw them together was a going away party thing. We went ice skating, they ate a little dinner together. We went to the pet store, they looked at the pets together. We went bowling, they kissed pretty much after each round. We got stuck on the highway cause my friends van overheated, they were in eachothers arms in the grass as we figured out what we were going to do. We were at the school after the whole thing with an hour til curfew (sp?), they laid next to each other on the football field watching star. The perfect couple.

    Only a week after this get together, my friend sent me a text saying she broke up with him. He told me in the next text (about 5 hours later as he texed me while my phone was dead and I was at work) that she said it was complicated, not over. This is what she said to him that he told me (understand? no? good.)

    she told me she wants someone she can pray with and be religious with, and i can't give her that. I just don't understand how that one thing is enough to say goodbye.
    He has told me he wants to support her and go to church, etc with her and religious stuff with her.

    I have already told him he needs to forget about what she has said for now and concentrate on the positive and being positive, continue to be playful with her and not get on that subject until they can talk face to face. I've told him to tell me if it starts to get him down because that was a key factor in my failures.

    In all honestly, I can see their relationship working and I would like all the help I can get to give to my friend since he has helped me so much. Thanks in advance for any help.
    God answers you, you may not hear it but he gives you the tools you need to fix your problems.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
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    Female
    Location
    Michigan
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    3-4 months is usually the honeymoon stage when issues that could affect the relationship further down the line start to pop up.

    Honestly, religion isn't a "small issue." If she's a very relgious person and takes it very seriously, it could very well be a deal breaker for her. I've found that in most situations, having different religious views can be a very difficult thing to overcome.

    Is he willing to do the church/prayer thing with her because it's what he truly believes, or because he wants to keep her? If it's the latter I'd say it's a bad idea.

    I really think your advice of him to "ignore what she said," is bad advice.. he can be as positive as he wants, unless the issue is addressed and worked out it's only going to continue.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Kansas
    Posts
    51
    We went to the lake and he is still kinda depressed about it. But he still played like a little kid and had fun which is a good sign.
    He wants to support her believes because he loves her and he doesn't want religion to be the only factor for a break up.
    The only reason i said to ignore what she said for now is because she is at a church camp, lots of pressure from it, and the only way they can talk is by text or call, both of which are poor communication methods since one can just not reply to a text or hang up in a call. I told him to forget about it until they can sort out the mess face to face. I never said to forget/ ignore it completely.
    God answers you, you may not hear it but he gives you the tools you need to fix your problems.

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