Hey all,
To the kind peoples who actually read this and respond, thank you in advance. I've never sought advice online for a relationship, so obviously I've reached my breaking point.
Anyhoo, here's my situation in a nutshell. Rather than just list my grievances item-by-item, I'll try and give a short, fair rundown in hopes that someone can give me some good advice.
B/F and I have been together for 3 years this X-mas. I just had a baby, I'm 32 my first child, his second. Lately, my B/F has been staying late after work and kicking it with some Haitian girl. He told me about her, and that he's been to her house on lunchbreaks, etc. Last week he claimed that her carkeys were locked out of her car and he helped her to get a locksmith, etc. He came home 3 hours after he'd gotten off.
Anyhow, let me be as clear as I can about our relationship. It's not open, but we're fairly open-minded. In other words, I don't mind innocent flirting, etc. But recently, on Halloween when my b/f went out he came home with a phone number in his pocket, which of course I found doing laundry, and called. The girl on the other line was friendly, I was blunt saying I was a nosy g/f and women needed to look after each other, etc. She told me he had been in the club talking to many, many girls and when she and he had danced, he tried to kiss her on the dance-floor. This is not acceptable.
It seems the chemistry between the two of us has died. There could be many reasons for this, I just had a baby. But overall, I'm not interested in sex with him anymore, it's dull and lame and I think I've let him go on too long being selfish, so much so that sex is a chore I don't really feel like bothering with. Having said that, I'm a VERY sexual person, so this has created an issue for both of us, as he is too.
It seems that now he's looking for attention elsewhere, and I'm fixing to go in the same direction. I love him, but I realize I'm not here to save him. He plays video games about 5 hours per day, and works 8 hours a day, so as you can imagine there's really no time for baby and I in his mind. Does no housework, no cooking, no laundry. Just works and plays the ****ing video game.
I've talked about all of these things until I'm blue in the face, but he's obstinate and slow to change. As for me, I've tried dressing up nice, having a serious talk about sex, the Haitian girl, etc. He confessed he's kissed someone else since we've been together but won't say who. I'm sick of the selfishness, but I won't walk away until I'm sure I've done everything in my power to make it work, for all of our sakes. I'm to the point where I just want to kick him out so he can learn to appreciate what he had.
HELP! Any advice and/or questions leading up to advice are welcome, I am an open, anonymous, internet book.
Thanks all,
P