Who is selfish?

[zkajo]

Hi, I'm new to the forum and i have a little issue i need a bit of advice on

First of all, I AM still young, VERY young as it has only been 15 years of my life gone so far (15 happy years i am proud to say).
4 years ago I met a girl, although i spoke no english then, language barrier wasn't really a wall and we somehow got to know each other better. Since then we've been dating, and after a series of
not-so-happy-short-term-relationships we tried again and it has been a beautiful year with no break ups what so ever.

This will sound daft coming from a 15 year old, but i feel like i could spend life with that girl (she is 17 in october, and im 16 in december). I managed to keep my hormones in tact when i had some serious "offers" from other attractive girls so it proves that I'm quite commited and it's not about "pleasure" to put it nicely

However, there is a little issue. My girlfriend is a little bit... confusing and undecided. She wants to become a nurse in the army and go to Africa or middle east and serve there when she is 20. It is a long way away, but first step was already taken by taking certain subjects for her A-levels and doing extra courses. I do hope that we last and i live with that hope, but then if so a series of "What if..." questions rises up and leaves me confused.

If she goes away i don't think i will manage to continue our relationship. I thought of her every day for 3 years and if i don't see her for about a week or two, and suddenly we meet up we somehow start to argue over small and stupid things. If we don't see each other for 6 months in a row (webcam doesn't count ) then our relationship will lie in ruins. Besides, no matter how much i love her i will not be able to live like that (as in live in that relationship, i don't plan on a suicide ).

I tried to remove the idea from her head but she still wants to do it (she says she won't but i know she just tries to make me feel better and i have my reasons to believe that she lies)

So, what should i do? At least tell me how to get over that fact

Simply, what would you do? 7 years commitment and 7-8 months of being away is just not right We will miss best years of our life. What should i do?
Let her or not?

[vashti]

It is natural you should feel a little hurt that she has other dreams, but she is right to pursue them, just as you should pursue whatever dreams and goals you have set for yourself. This is the way personal development works, and it is an important part of growing up. Besides, if you try to prevent her from doing this, she will end up hating you.

I don't blame you for not wanting to wait, though, nor would i suggest it.

[MVPlaya]

Look, you're high schoolers, you have lives to build and things to do. You had a relationship and thats great, but she has to move on with her life and she's decided she's doing that by joining the Armed Forces. In the end, you can't stop that, she has to make that decision and she has to make that decision for herself. If she's pressured into making a different choice she'll always wonder what if, so she has to know that she made a decision on her own.

At the end of the day, all you can do is be there for her until then, but after that, its going to end, and thats just part of life. So all I can say is, apparently you get offers from other attractive females, so I don't think this is going to be the end for you.