I'm not exactly sure how to go about explaining my situation. It's a bit complicated and bizarre and perhaps even ridiculous. But I'm going to give it a go.
I've been in a relationship for almost two years with a guy I've met over the internet. He's 28 and lives in Cali. I'm 20 and live in Maryland. Things seemed to have moved pretty quickly (as they seem to do with internet relationships in my experience.) We got to know each other rather quickly through instant messaging and talking on the phone. I feel as if I know him better than anyone, and visa versa. We've discuss pretty much every aspect of our relationship (moving in together, marriage, children, etc.) He really seems like a dream come true.
But we do have our problems. We bicker over the stupidest things at times. Some of it's trivial bullshit and some of it is serious. But at the end of the day, we seem to be okay with the issues. Except one, really critical thing.
A bit of history: In March of last year, he decided he wanted to come out and see me and perhaps have me move back to Cali with him. Due to a fear of flying, he decided to drive. I was all excited and ready to go. But he got sick with H. Pylori. For those who don't want to go googling, it's a bacterial infection in the stomach and digestive system. Because of the H. Pylori, he developed two ulcers in his stomach, which caused him to vomit blood and other very unpleasant things. So he had to stop at a hospital in TX. Things seemed to get better with treatment and medical attention, so he was released. He drove closer and closer to MD. Stopping in VA for the same reason. Released then somehow ended up in WV and was in a hospital there. Complications from a medication called Levaquin (a heavy duty antibiotic), delayed his release. He recovered from the medication allergy and his H. Pylori seemed to be getting better. He finally made it to MD but was hospitalized again. While in the hospital in MD, he was given Levaquin AGAIN, which caused more complications and delayed him again. The hospital referred him to a better equipped hospital in MD. Which he's been at since December of THIS year.
Meanwhile, I had some issues with my driver's licenses and they were suspended and all kinds of all crap. I finally got everything straightened out before Christmas. He had promised me that I could come see him on Xmas eve if he hadn't been released. I drove all the way to the hospital (45 min drive) and he refused to let me come inside and see him. (I tried calling the hospital to get the room number, but due to a privacy notice he signed they can't release that information to me because I'm not family.) I was upset, so my Xmas pretty much sucked.
Fast forward to the present. I've been trying to get him to let me come see him but he refuses to allow it. He claims that he doesn't want me to meet him for the first time in a hospital. While I understand where he's coming from, I'm pretty much past the whole "Omg you're sick, I feel so sorry for you" crap. I just want to be there for him and try to give him some comfort. I don't pity him, but I do empathize with his situation. And personally, the current situation isn't providing me with the emotional support that I need. I mean, the man I love is laying in a hospital alone, sick and scared. It's tearing me apart and upsets me quite frequently.
He's made "promises" like this before. "If I'm not out by ---, you can come see me." Then he turns around and says "I'm being released today or tomorrow." or "I don't want you to see me this way." Etc. I understand where he's coming from, but I'm tired of the excuses. All I want is to be with him. I wouldn't care if he were missing half of his face, as long as I could be with him.
We got into an argument last night about it. Well, it was more like me begging him to let me come see him and him telling me that he's being released soon and that I need to stop asking. So I ended up telling him something along the lines of: "I know you're doing the best you can, but it's not good enough. It's not fair to expect me to wait around like it's 1945 and you're returning from the war and all I can do is wait. We're both adults and I think we're both capable of handling the situation like adults. If you can't act like an adult and treat me like an adult, and allow me to come see you, then you're not the man I thought you were."
As you can imagine, it didn't go over very well with him and he ended up hanging up on me and didn't answer the text message I sent.
So, I guess what I'm asking is.. What do I do? Do I just wait for him to be released and let him come to me? Or do I somehow get him to let me come see him? I don't want to end the relationship because I do love him and he seems to love me. And I don't think it'd be really fair to break off the relationship just because he got sick and wants to act like a stubborn jackass.