Betrayed

[MartinSL]

I'm new to the forums and felt like I needed to share my story.

I met this girl online, in a game, about 2 years go. The game is a big part of my life. It's been my main hobby for the past 5 years. When we started talking, I had no idea where this would lead. She lives in Maine while I live in Montreal, Quebec, on the other side of the border. No matter the obstacle, we started dating, seeing each other almost every 2 weeks. Countless hours of chat/ventrilo, social gaming and time spent together did not change anything in the end.

To me, we had a great relationship going on. I loved her, more than anything in the world and I thought she did too. The last weekend we saw each other, I started seeing something was wrong. When I asked her, on a Sunday night when we were in bed, if she was happy with me, I got no answer. I was already going through hard times, but that moment is scarred into my soul. I looked around, and there she was, crying. I could not believe it. The one thing I was sure of in my entire life was now more than uncertain. I never saw it coming.

She did not dump me on the spot but no matter how much I tried to engage into a conversation about it with her the next day, she wouldn't say anything. She usually leaves on Tuesday morning while I'm at work, so Monday night was my one chance to try to fix things. Yet she wouldn't talk. A few days later, when she got back in the U.S., she told me it was over. I was crushed.

I looked for support and advice with a good friend of ours that also play the same game as us. We were all pretty close and I felt like he would understand better than any of my real life friends. I told him everything I felt, everything that happened and he helped me out. To my surprise though, a few days after, he tells me that my ex and him are now together and are planning on seeing each other and that all in the same week. I felt lost, betrayed. I felt like I lost everything.

So here I am, 2 weeks later, trying to work my way back with her. I still love her, no matter what happened. I can't give up on us, yet I know it's a lost cause. I let her know everything I feel, how much she means to me and ask for the second chance I never had. But she is cold as ice. She says she's thinking about it but I know it's over.

I know I should try to keep my distances but it is a constant struggle. I can't cope with being away from her. Getting replaced is the worst feeling I've ever felt. The last 2 years made me the happiest man in the world. I thought it would last forever. But in the end, I realize that for her, it didn't mean nearly as much as it did to me.

Every time I think I should give up on her and move on, I fall right back where I was. Calling her, sending her texts and emails, trying to make her understand she's doing a mistake but in the end it only makes me even more sad and disappointed by her. I don't know what to do or how to feel. I can't play that game anymore knowing everyone knows what's going on with me and them. I lost my one true love and my best confidant. I'm alone, crushed, depressed and heartbroken.

[MartinSL]

I kept contact and regretted it. Nothing good can come out of that. It always feel like if I push it a bit further it might change everything but it won't. It's all in my head. She's gone and that's the bottom line.

I miss her so much but I can't talk to her anymore. It's the worst feeling I've ever felt...

[Hulibuli]

Oh boy, I sure know that feeling. I know it's hard, but trust me in this one. keeping no contacts is the wisest choice you can do. I know sometimes it feels like unbearable pain, but when the time is right and you manage to let go, you feel like a whole new person. In my case it took about two weeks that I found a new gf after letting go. When I decided to not let go, it was the worst years I had in my life. Worst enemy of yours is your mind and feelings. Remember, you're in charge of your own feelings. Keep the good memories and thoughts, ignore the others. Focus on yourself and do things you enjoy the most.

Girl who acts like that isn't worth of the feelings you're going through. World is full of people who actually loves you back, not uses you like that.

[sadman]

I miss her so much but I can't talk to her anymore. It's the worst feeling I've ever felt...

God, I really feel for you man, I know what it's like to miss someone and fear losing someone you truly love... Just ask her why she's not happy with you, and tell her you'll change... If it was meant to be, it will be... Maybe tell her you've been researching better cunnilingus techniques...

[VincenzoG91]

Maybe tell her you've been researching better cunnilingus techniques...

I'm picturing a wild-haired scientist in a lab coat with a clipboard.

[Purrzzzzzz]

God.. I understand everything.. since I forced him to tell me what he was feeling, he has become cold as ice..he made me happier than I have ever been in my life.. when he said 'forever'.. I believed it.. thats all I wanted.. and I have to wonder if he is with someone else..I know he cares for my well being, and most likely wouldnt hurt me so much with that if it was true..

[MartinSL]

God.. I understand everything.. since I forced him to tell me what he was feeling, he has become cold as ice..he made me happier than I have ever been in my life.. when he said 'forever'.. I believed it.. thats all I wanted.. and I have to wonder if he is with someone else..I know he cares for my well being, and most likely wouldnt hurt me so much with that if it was true..

All that is left to do is look forward. Everyday I struggle to keep my mind off of her. It gets easier...just gotta focus on ourselves.

[confusius]

Well, I guess everyone here has been through this. I'm still in the healing process from my recent break up. Like some of you, I thought I found the one. 1.5 years with her with awesome. She made my first years in college one the best SO FAR (capital letters to remind myself that better ones have yet to come even without her). I remember she used to tell me that she will never break up with me and that I'll be the one to get tired of her and break up with her. Well it went to other way around and she got a new boy after 3.5 weeks. So now I know anything can happen and I look forward to be more cautious next time.

[confusius]

Every time I think I should give up on her and move on, I fall right back where I was. Calling her, sending her texts and emails, trying to make her understand she's doing a mistake but in the end it only makes me even more sad and disappointed by her. I don't know what to do or how to feel. I can't play that game anymore knowing everyone knows what's going on with me and them. I lost my one true love and my best confidant. I'm alone, crushed, depressed and heartbroken.

Although it's a natural response to your situation, it's actually what is making it worse. So when you stop contacting her and TRY to forget about her, things will slowly get better. Talk to other girls you know even if you have no intention in dating them. That's what I did and I'm now very to some of them. Every time I feel like falling back I pick up the phone and call one of them. Personally it's a way to distract my mind; however sometimes it's hard to implement.

Good luck my friend. One day we'll see the light at the end of the tunnel.

[Purrzzzzzz]

I feel like I am cheating on him when guys flirt with me.. just cant get it thru my head that he doesnt CARE!!!

[Mathias]

I feel like I am cheating on him when guys flirt with me.. just cant get it thru my head that he doesnt CARE!!!

Even if you were with him, it wouldn't be cheating.

[MartinSL]

Like a dumbass, I returned her last message. God I feel like a moron. Why did I do that? I always regret it, yet I always do it. I feel like I'm back a week ago now. I couldn't follow my own advice... I'm so pissed at myself. I said goodbye, forever. No way back now.

Really, if you read this and are tempted to do the same. DON'T. Help yourself and just don't.

[Hulibuli]

Like a dumbass, I returned her last message. God I feel like a moron. Why did I do that? I always regret it, yet I always do it. I feel like I'm back a week ago now. I couldn't follow my own advice... I'm so pissed at myself. I said goodbye, forever. No way back now.

Really, if you read this and are tempted to do the same. DON'T. Help yourself and just don't.

Don't whip yourself too much. You're human, not somekind mindless robot who does only correct and smart things.

Btw, one trick I used was that I a) blocked all connections throught net and b) changed her (plus couple of other non-pleasant person's) name in my phone to "don't answer/don't call". After some time you forget which number is which and you can't call even if you would want to. Plus you can delete all the messages straight without reading them when you see the "don't answer/don't call". I know it sounds harsh, but it's not. It's about helping youself, letting your heart to heal and if that person truly cares about you, he/she will understand. Slow and steady, Captain. Yarr!

[MartinSL]

Yeah I know... It's just that I started feeling a whole lot better in the last couple days. Like I even thought I didn't love her anymore. I didn't think I cared. Untill I saw she called. I knew that it wouldn't lead anywhere, I knew she didn't call to say something like ''oh I'm sorry I made a mistake''. I knew it. But I still called, always with the hope to hear it... like I just can't give up. As I hung up, I felt everything I've felt in the last weeks all over again. I'm so exhausted... going through the same phases over and over just because I can't let her go. It's not my choice, I have to... Forcing yourself to stop loving feels so unnatural... almost sickening... I can't stand it anymore.

[DarkHelmet82]

You cant take this personal.. she made her decisions based on how SHE felt.. you did NOTHING WRONG! thats your first step. your next step is to just move on and be happy. No sense in being miserable.. Now i know its hard.. but you WILL be ok