Originally Posted by
cg3385
Hello, My name is Chris
I'm 28 years old and I've only ever been in one relationship
One that lasted just under two years with someone who I considered and still do consider one of my best friends
Her and I didn't work as a couple anywhere near as well as we did friends, and now that we've broken up, and she's moved back to B.C. we've gone back to having a great online friendship and I wouldn't want it any other way.
It's better for her, it's better for me and I have faith that someday we will both find someone whom we click with better in a relationship...
That brings me to the question that I will be asking...
Right now I'm anxious as hell in regards to getting into the dating world... I have all kinds of anxieties towards the ideas (as a little background I'm diagnosed with Social and Generalized anxiety disorders. as I said I've also only ever dated one person, and we were friends first, so it's not the same as dating someone new either.)
But the question that plagues my mind the most is this... If I start dating someone how do I go about telling them that I am still close to my ex, and if said person is not ok with that, then things aren't going to work between us... I don't want to waste some girls time, or waste my time, or have feelings for said girl, or her have feelings for me, only for me to mention that and it all fall apart simply because of that...
But then there's the other side of the coin, I may not know much about dating, but I know enough to know talking about ex's is on the low end of the spectrum, taboo, and on the high end of the spectrum essentially dating suicide...
So if I talk about my ex too much or too fast, I may scare off someone who may've otherwise worked...
I've tried to ask advice from a few girls I know (two of my sisters and someone else I have chats with every now and then), out of the three, two of them (older of the two sisters and the other person) just agreed with me that a lot of girls would instantly avoid that sort of situation (including themselves in that sort of situation) and the third essentially was just like "I don't really know what to tell ya."
I'm just wondering is there any advice that anyone has for me, about that...
If I were to date a girl, what would seem like an appropriate time or way to bring up that I'm still close friends with my ex, and although I can assure them that her and I will never be together in that way again (nor do either of us want that), the fact that my close friend will STAY a close friend is NOT a negotiable part of the potential budding relationship with the new person I'd be telling this?
I know it's hard to answer, as the answer may be somewhat situational, but any advice/opinions besides "Ditch the ex" would be appreciated.
Thank you.
-CG