HaHa, feels sooooo good :)

[Blackey]

only a month and a half passed since my ex girlfriend dumped me, I called her every fricking half an hour, send her 10000 msgs just to meet up or pick up the phone , or just talk to me and she ignored it all the time, that was really hurting, only you my friends know how much it can hurt.
So we are going to the same gym, so for the first time i saw her there about about a month ago, i decided to completely ignore her even though i saw that she seen me, so for the whole time, we were kind of working out not far away from each other, i saw that she was looking at me the whole time, and she probably noticed that i would also look at her every once in a while.
BUT every time we would kind of go into each others direction i would completely ignore her and not even look her way, even if we would pass by next to each other i would just turn and go the other way so she would see, anyhow after 2 hours of this "game" of me avoiding her and going the opposite way, she just came to me and asked me "hey how are you" i just replied "cool" and went the other way, after this time i felt like shit for some reason a whole bunch of mixed emotions just stromed inside of my. Anyway after like 2 weeks i saw her again in the gym, and i did the same avoidence thing from the first time, weirdly, even though i was ignoring her for the whole time, she came to me just to say "hey, bye", this time i just noded my head and didnt say anything, for some reason this time, i wasnt that emotional as the first time, still kind of mixed in my head but much less emotions, after another 2 weeks i saw her again in the gym, and the same story, I was ignoring her for the whole time, and then eventually she came to me just to say "bye" because she was leaving, i just noded my head and didnt say anything, but this time it actually felt good, its like this time i was in charge and i am the one who didnt want to give any attention to her as opposed to when she just dumped me and i was begging her just to talk.
Suddenly, for me, she became all weak and undesirable, i started to see turn offs that i would not usually pay attention, such as that she gain some weight, her butt looks bigger and she actually has a belly now...such a turn off lol, her face is different she looks older, and her voice became so fake that it was just funny. So tonight after about a month of no contact, right after i came back from the gym, i sent her a msg on facebook telling her how ridicious she is, that both of us decided never to have anything to do with each other again and now she is coming to me in the gym, and that i dont want her to talk to me because she is emberacing me in front of my friends, and that she has to respect our deal of NC for ever. I dont know, it gave me such a nice feeling, as if everything has switched around and now i am the strong and she is the weak, and im the one who is saying and dumping, yay and i see things now from a whole different prospective in regards to her and how ugly and fat she became from looking so beautifully once when we were together im proud of myself.

[DonkeyKong]

I had a run-in with mine tonight when I was leaving the gym. We're currently only on day 2 of NC but since we do still both want to be friends I did have a polite little chat with her for about a minute. Nothing about us, or the relationship, just a pleasant little small talk exchange. It felt nice to be able to talk to her and not feel super emotional about it. You obviously don't want to have a continued relationship of any kind with your ex, so I guess more power to you if you've got the will power to do that, as long as she deserves to be ignored.

[dre760]

well im glad you feel good about yourself but I honestly wouldn't have handled the situation like you did.

You shouldn't have sent the message. This is just showing ehr that you still care even if its a negative message...

If you really don't care you should politely say hi to her if she says hi and just be short with her. I wouldn't ignore her completely.

Just live your OWN life without her and don't be mean to her and don't send her messages... just live your life without her if you truly dont care anymore.

[Blackey]

Dre760, of course i still got some sort of feelings for her...its been less than 2 months since she dumped me, i know logically that i should not, under any circumstances continue this relationship, although my desires want her back , its a tight fight, but im intended to let logic to beat desires. Another thing, after a break up, you have to think only about yourself, not about her, i dont give a heck if she got offended or feel bad about this message, it made me feel good, and thats the most important thing, and i will continue doing things that make ME feel good even if they gonna hurt her, Am i a bad person? No, when you are being dumped, the rules are changing, you have to take care of yourself first, and only then think about others, even if it means hurting your ex, i believe its a fair game for all, dont you guys think so?

[cmacattack1]

It's a fair game.... why do you play games? Are you sadistic enough to be angry to her just to make yourself feel better? What kind of negative connotation does that provide?

[Blackey]

cmacattack1- yep, im not ashamed of admitting it, after a break up your self image and self esteem is really down, especially if you been begging your ex to talk to her or just to meet up , and she was ignoring you for the whole time, and you feel really bad in general.
I would strongly argue that after something like that the rules are changing, you are no longer your ex guardian, and your healing process is way important than thinking about your ex's feelings.
Especially if you got dumped and were ignored, i truely believe that it would be fair to gain this self esteem (if you have the chance of course) by doing different things, some of them might be hurtful for your ex, but thats what im saying, its a fair game since the ex hurt you.
and if you really believe that after being dumped and ignored, you should ignore an opportunity to feel better and promote your self esteem if it involves hurting your ex, it will take you a long time to recover my friend. I am not a bad person, i would ALWAYS go out of my way to help friends and even strangers (i am aquarius) but im also into justice and psychology and i strongly believe my statements above that it is ok to play games and to hurt your ex who dumped you and hurt you a lot for the sake of you getting better
anybody agree with me?

[cmacattack1]

I just think there are better ways to get out those negative feelings than taking it out on an ex. Stepping on her because she hurt you may make you feel better, but it's not the right thing to do. It's not being the bigger person. It's not a mature way to handle these negative feelings.

It'd be one thing if you had a say in her feelings but you don't. She feels how she feels no matter what you or anybody tell her. And she deserves punishment for feeling that way?

[Blackey]

No, she does not deserve punishment for feeling what she is feeling, she deserves punishment for unfairly dumping and hurting, thats what im all about, if a person were to break up in a supportive way, that would be a completely different case, but im not talking about these cases, im talking about the ones where a person is being dumped cruely without any support and being completely ignored after the dumping.
Cmacattack1, arrange a vote in this forum, ask people who got cruely dumped the next question : "if you knew that the time that you suffer would cut in half and you would heal much faster from the break up symptoms, would you allow yourself to make it through the hurting of the feelings of your ex who dumped you so cruely?"
You might be right, and it might be somewhat imature, but i just want to tell you that while im suffering here from a broken heart symptoms, my ex is happily lives with a guy she dumped me for because he got a house and money and im just a student yet. so why am I suppose to be the one who suffer? why not her?

[cmacattack1]

You automatically assume she is happy and that things will work out and they will be happily ever after. It's how I felt with my ex after she has her new guy. Karma comes back around, I promise you. Mistakes she made she will continue to make until she loses something she really cares about.

Okay, so assuming she met the perfect guy that caters to all her insecurities? Will she be happy in the long run? No. She won't.

You are going to see it in short run because that's exactly what it is: the short run. I'm telling you a few months down the road, where I'm at, you will see it from a whole new perspective. And it takes some serious understanding, which I don't think you want to do right now.

[Blackey]

cmacattack1 my friend, i know exactly what you are talking about, I do strongly believe that this happiness is just in the short run, since im pretty sure that this guy is more of a rebound if you heard this term. She was in love with me for a long time, our biggest problem was taht i did not want to move out with her just yet cuz im a student. She also told me about thie guy she is with now, they been just friends for also a long time, but she never found him a potential dating partner, she even told me about this guy before we started dating, that this guy always tried to hit on her but she didnt really liked him. The only think about this guy is that he got a house and he is pretty settle with job, whereas im just a student. So things got really intence in her house and we also got into fights because of this issue and she said that she absolutely has to move out and she doesnt really care who anymore.
and then before i know it, she moves in with this guy and tells me that she is in love with her, i truely believe that this guy was there for her when she was really down, and he could supply her with the things that she needed at the moment, house and a partner who is already settle down and stable. Thats why I do believe that in reality she doesnt really love him but what he has, and as a result after a year or so, when this euphoria will end, and then both of them would start looking at each others personalities....its just not gonna work...
But the point is that even though its a short run...she is happy...while i have to go through break up symptoms...

[cmacattack1]

I know how you feel. I sat there and told myself: How could she do this to me? What did I do to deserve this? How could she be all happy while I'm suffering? I think the simple answer to this is that she doesn't care. She is looking after herself and she has found what she is looking for currently. Her wants will change with time and so will her feelings.

I took a break up pretty brutal too. It's the worst I've felt and the most rejected I've felt ever in my life. Through my understanding, through my analysis, I've grown up so much and learned so much from my relationship to the point where it's been the best thing that ever happened to me. It's what you do with what you have and how you use it to come out of that shithole you've been sucked into from this break up.

It's early on and it's hard to see that right now. You are hurt. You are angry. This is why no contact is good because then you won't have the opportunity to do petty things like what you did to her so far. Your feelings will get in the way of your better judgement until you've had time to deal.

So you ran into her and you can't avoid her if you want to live life. I understand. I just hope you know that treating her like this right now might make you feel good but it's not the right thing to do. You are going to do what you want to and I hope you get what you hoped for from doing this. It will really tell alot about who you are and what you've become as a result of this.

[Blackey]

Cmacattack1, believe me even though its been only a month and a half, my progress is pretty big, i believe so.
I already made all the conclusion about the faults, and i believe i did it in an unbiased way, i know both of us lead to it, and i know that in the next relationship i would avoid these mistakes.
But the arguments is not about that, the main argument is about the way she ended up the whole thing, in a very cruel and unsupportive way, and as a result i think as i said that it is a fair game to sometimes use cold tricks on her in order to make myself better, because she did not think about me, i have no reason to think about her.
Right now the most important thing is to get out completely from this thing im stuck at and to heal.
And why treating her so is not the right thing to do, I still didnt get it, i mean as i said she just dumped be without giving me any type of support, so i have to climb out of this hole myself without help, so what im trying to get out of it is just to promote my healing process, there is nothing else i want to get out of it such as revenge or something like that.
and yes u right in a way... i changed drastically, i realized that in this situation you can not under any circumstances stay the kind person you are, and keep on carring for your ex, you have to build an emotional wall and treat yourself and heal yourself, otherwise you will be stuck for too long in the phase of grieving. You know what they say... a war is a way...you can not stay calm in a situation like a break up.

[cocobubble]

lol. my ex actually got better looking though. but im okay with it cuz his new gf have nothing against me. she is the one who is fat.

[kai]

Blackey, I'm jealous of you. I'm wondering when I'll get a chance to ignore my ex when she tries to talk to me. But, before that I've to make myself better