What could I have done that was sooooo ****ing bad?

[Jhcl]

I asked a girl out after 2 months of knowing/flirting with her. When I say flirting I mean she would say stuff like "You should personal train me, be my personal trainer." Well, I asked her out, and she said yes before I could even finish asking her out. I take her out, I hold doors, make her smile and laugh, we even locked eyes without saying anything a few times during dinner, and I also made some funny comments during the movie (which was depressing, though). We both seemed to have a really good time, and when I drove her home she talked to me much more "freely" (without me asking questions) than when I first picked her up. I popped open some mints and took one myself, then asked her if she wanted one, she said yes. When we got to her house I asked if she wanted me to walk her to her door, and she enthusiastically says yes. I walk her to her door, and before she goes into her house she gives me a hug (I was going to leave without initiating any physical contact because I didn't want to come on too strong, and no patting either during the hug). I kinda gave her a half-assed one-armed hug, but it's not like I pushed her away or something. She asked me if I was going to be in the gym the next day, and I said yes. It seemed to me like she really liked me and wanted to see me again soon and she said she had a good time and wanted to go out again. She also agreed to work out with me today (monday), so I could show her a few things.

Well, here comes the bad news. A guy in the gym told me that she is dating another "thuggish" guy as well as me, and he told her that he was glad she went out with a nice guy (me), and that I had nothing to worry about. Well, that kinda sucked, but here's the thing that is making me extremely angry: she completely lied to me about something really trivial just today. Asked her if she wanted to hang out with my friend and I, she said she had to go to IKEA with her dad. Okay, legitimate excuse, that's cool. When I go to the gym she isn't there, text her 30 minutes after the scheduled workout time, she responds that she is still in Baltimore with her dad, fishy, but okay. When I get home I look for her Facebook so I can add her to my FL, find it, and the wall update says exactly this: "day offff gym, getting nails done & mall w/caroline. get @ meee !"

So, she spent the day with her dad, huh? So what she really did was go to the gym early without me and didn't tell me even though we had scheduled to workout together, then went out with her friend(s) but lied about it, and lied again when I texted her while in the gym by saying that she was still with her dad in. What could I have done that would make her do this? She seemed to really like me, and really enjoy our date.... I don't get it. And I AM going to confront her about it, just casually at first and ask why she did this. I really don't get it. Lying to me about something so small and trivial after ONE date? What could I have possibly done to turn her off so much out of no-where.

[Heratriumphant]

Some people at just liars, doesn't have a thing to do with you.

Skip confronting her, just move on.

[all alone]

Sounds like she enjoys pedalling several guys at once and may even be a compulsive liar. I'd say back off and stay away.

[TheWizard]

it's called parallel dating, and everyone should do it if they aren't already. Until you become a real item and go exclusive it's totally normal to date a couple of girls or guys at the same time.

The thing with the internet is we can find out all kinds of stuff about people very quickly - try not to bring up the fact you know she was lying because you read on her facebook yadda yadda bad bad.

It's an interesting lie, but normally if a woman is interested they will reciprocate if they are busy. IE when you asked her to hang with you and your friend she says "I can't tonight I have plans, but I'm free Thursday if yuo want to hangout then" or some such.

I'd follow the other advice and either move on or do some parallel dating of your own.

[MidLife]

Usually people lie because they do not feel they can tell the truth. Though it sucks that she is a liar. She probably really likes you and didn't want you to feel like she ditched you. Personally, honesty is better for me. I'd rather have hurt feelings.

[Jhcl]

I've heard two different things:

1.) I act uninterested in her and only talk to her if she talks to me. Basically, move on.

2.) Ask her out again, possibly looking like a total fool because of what I know, and possibly getting rejected.

I know it seems like it would be easy to just "move on," but it's truly disappointing that the first girl I ever ask out turns out to be parallel dating and a liar... As well as being a party girl, stoner, drinker, and supposedly a slut (heard it from a friend). The funny thing is, even with all those horrible negatives, I still feel like I want to ask her out again...

I'm leaning towards just holding it all in and trying to move on and not talking to her. What should I do?

[kai]

Welcome to life, my friend. And the part of yours which still want to ask her out, it is just your ego which is hurt. Don't bother about her. Move on, you'll find a much better girl

[Gigabitch]

Just make sure to check exactly when she posted that update. You don't want to get all huffy and look silly.

[Jhcl]

She posted the update saying: "day offff gym, getting nails done & mall w/caroline. get @ meee !" at 12:13 PM, and texted me saying she was meeting he dad for Xmas shopping at 12:35 PM. Then instead of working out with me at 6:00 PM she texts me saying she's still out with her dad at 7:02 PM. So.... Thoughts on this?

[Gigabitch]

Change of plans? Even if that's not what happened, it COULD have happened, so you can't go all Daffy Duck on her about it.

[girl68]

It has nothing to do with you per se. If you're so messed up about it just ask what's up with the facebook status. See what she's got to say.

[Jhcl]

I walked in, she noticed me (kinda hard to not see who walks through the loud door right in front of you) and said "Hey!" So I replied with a smile and "what's up." Yes, "what's up" with a PERIOD, not a question mark. She then says "Look at this! Do you like it?" or something, and shows me her new tattoo on her lower stomach, right above her underpants (don't ask why I went into detail, I just do that). So I said, "Cool, I guess. It's alright." And walked away to start my workout. Didn't see her at the end when I walked out, she was in an office talking with a bunch of staff members.

[TheWizard]

I walked in, she noticed me (kinda hard to not see who walks through the loud door right in front of you) and said "Hey!" So I replied with a smile and "what's up." Yes, "what's up" with a PERIOD, not a question mark. She then says "Look at this! Do you like it?" or something, and shows me her new tattoo on her lower stomach, right above her underpants (don't ask why I went into detail, I just do that). So I said, "Cool, I guess. It's alright." And walked away to start my workout. Didn't see her at the end when I walked out, she was in an office talking with a bunch of staff members.

Playing it very aloof aren't we? Careful this hasn't turned her off of you completely... Here's some things to consider.

If she lifted her shirt to show you the tattoo she opted to show you a little skin... most girls are completely aware of who and what they show to guys. Not typical flirty behavior but flirty for sure.

She might think you were put off by the tattoo or something, who knows. You played your card so if she's interested she's got the next move I think. Just wait and see!

[lahnnabell]

It is possible she sent the text about meeting up with her dad BEFORE she actually met up with him. You are still new to her so she may not feel like it's required of her to display timestamps on everything she does. She's got her own life, y'know. If you wanna hang in there and get to know her better, you're gonna have to grow a little backbone. Calmly bring it up. Say, "Hey, it sucks that we couldn't hang the other day. I would've liked that."

And every girl should be parallel dating! In fact, every person should. It's a great way to figure out what you like/dislike in relationships before settling.

[girl68]

Um yeah it's over and it didn't even start.

Dude, you fail.