I was in a rather abusive relationship (mentally because i can have a good job but he doesnt). For those who doesnt have the background about the current me, i'll just say that i've just been out of my 4 years long relationship 2 months ago. Adding on to that, im a very curious person.
And this is my story: I joined a new company shortly before breaking up with my bf. Due to work problem, the headquarter sent a person to our branch to supervise us for a month and that's how i meet him. According to him, the first moment seeing me among the other ppl in the office greeting him on his first day here, his heart moved. Even though he's 35 (im 23), he always act young, happy and energetic. Everyone in the office like him. Because of him, we actually gather and go out together sometimes.
I, on the other hand, dont care about him at first, i've just broke up with my ex for a few weeks or so. Im not looking for anybody. Just minding my own business
To shorten the story, let's just understand the fact if a 35 ys old man with experiences in life/handling women wants to get a young girl, it would be quite easy. His strategy is perfect, he never once push hard that i would be scared of him but increase day by day. His first attempt is to ask if i want to go to a tourist place with him politely (cause he's new, hence => visiting places). Normally, i would never accepted this invite but just out of a relationship as i was, i didnt want to stay at home alone thinking of my ex. So i accepted and went with him. The day ended nicely as one might guess, he offered to take me home and we talked hours in front of my place.
I enjoined the conversation and knowing his intentions, i tried to push him into friend zone but he always have way to prevent it from happening, and always sweet and caring. He never did anything too forward but of course, the intention is still clear (mostly due to the fact i never took it too seriously).
So every weekend he would ask me to go places and never once i rejected it (just need a reason to get out of the room and i dont have friends - after effect of being in a relationship for 4 years). For the 1st month he was here, we see each other everyday, at work and in weekends. Oh, btw, did i mentioned he has a gf in his home town? I saw that on his facebook. That's also something make me think we would become friends and felt comfortable with this. And then a few days before he went back, i saw his facebook and saw some old text "i love *his gf name" and i was jealous . He noticed but didnt know why. Only after we all went home, he asked and i told him via msn because of that. He took cab to my place at 11pm and told me he likes me and he was sorry. The day later, is the day he went back his country. End chap 1.
Maybe due to his pursue, the company agreed to send him here for another month. He came again (still an attached man). i never once asked him to break up with his ex, i think we arent going to work out because of the distance, because half the reason i like him because i was just out of a relationship. After a while, i decided that as long as im aware of this fact, i want to continue and see how this thing end (out of curiosity). Of course he isnt a really good person (cheating) so if i hurt him because i hangout with him without real liking, he deserves it. I feel sorry for his gf and know this is wrong but as i said... And we got closer and closer, hugging, kissing, mostly everything except sex. He has lots of experiences due to age. I have never felt physically attracted to by ex bf but he does make me feel very very different. He had a relationship in the past lasted for 12 years (they was living together) and she broke up with him for another guy. The current relationship lasted 2 years. And because of the previous relationship, he became quite selfish, being with me and when ever i ask about our situation, he says "dont talk about her, im afraid u wont be happy" and told me the truth that he need to think a lot, quitting his job, his family, friends. In general: he wants to let this thing go on and will decide when he needs too. I let it goes cause i need time to think too and we dont have sex anyway (not that he didnt asked for it or try to push for it from time to time). Time goes and i feel more and more for him. He said he loves me in the middle of the 2nd month he was here and i told him truthfully i love him when he went back for the 2nd time. While spending time with him all the time after work, i still try to maintain good relationship with other colleges (our company has a lot of male). He never said anything when i hang out with them but once when i asked, he said he doesnt like it and he never said anything cause he knows he has no right to.
While waiting for his trip here for the 3rd times, i always wish he would pop up in my msn one day and said he decided to break up with his gf but he doesnt. I told him he need to resolve it and he said give him sometimes, he's waiting for something. Tired of waiting and afraid of wanting him more than i should, i told him it's the end for me and we didnt say anything to each other for 2 days. And i got sick and put it on my status, he saw and ask for my health, we continuing chatting again. Something happened shortly afterward that make me harbored the idea of moving out of this country. I asked him if he wants to be together for a long time to just to see if putting his country in my list of options would be favorable. And i think he got scared and mad that i moved to the moving plan too soon without telling him (err, im not moving, just thinking about options). The last sentence he said was "yes, y dont you find your bf and talk about it". And i changed my MSN, to make it easier for me to really break up with him this time.
So what i need is how u guys view this i know i m wrong but i also dont know if he can come back for the 3rd time and i can reject him just as much as i did when i first saw him so i need to really to see it from different point of views