Hello my name is tom and im from the UK, I have this problem, on friday my girlfriend of one year and my first love split with me. She said that she still loves me but more like a friend then a boyfriend. Iam absolutely devistated I had so much more to give to her, I put her before myself for a year and I feel like I have just wasted my time. The thing is after breaking up with me she kind of back tracked and said she had alot going on in her life and a releationship wasn't somthing she needed at the moment an said she may get her life orginised and a in the future that love may return.
We were best friends before we got together and I made a promise that if we split that I would always be her best friend but iam finding it very difficult, The day after the split I orginised to goto the gym with her and just seeing her and knowing that she was no longer mine broke my heart, i've seen her today sunday also, we went round to one of our mutual friends houses together and chatted and kinda reminised over the past, I tryed so hard to keep a brave face on and even thanked her for trying to make it easy, but it hasn't made it easy. I got home and just broke down, which im not ashamed to say.... im trying to play a martyr and its very hard. Next week iam also going to a festival over the bank holiday and will be spending 2 days in a tent with her.
I just dont know what to do, I want her back so badly i cant imagine my life without her in it, thats why im trying so hard to be her friend, but each time I see her I just want to hold her tight and tell her how much i love her.
Granted she does have alot going on in her life at the moment, she just recently made the big descion to leave uni because it wasn't somthing she really wanted to do. She started working at a bank in the mean time while she figures out where she wants to go with her life. She also wants to go traveling and couldn't see where I would fit into that.
I am really trying my best to be her friend and i want to be deep down, but I also want her back. Everything reminds me of her and just stupid little things that made our releationship special I know ill no longer have and its just hurting so much.
What do you think I should do to try and win her back? or do you think I should let her get on with it and accept its over and be her friend?
Just abit more imformation, our releationship devoloped very quickly, she lived in a student house with 5 other girls and we quikcly devoloped a pattern where by id be there most nights and weekends, she has now moved out of the house and moved home with her parents, and thats where it seemed to go wrong. Iam 20 from the uk she is 21 we live quite close im just finding it difficult because the one person i would want to speak to about my problems would be her, but obviously i cant really do that. I have alot of friends but i dont think they would be able to help me... not the kind of people with great understanding and wouldn't make me feel better.
Btw, I thought I would add our releationships devoloped in what I thougth was a strange way, We was best friends, and ill be first to admit im not the best looking lad in the world, but she was a fashion design student really into looking good and her appearence, she is absolutely stunning, and I never really understood how it happened or how I was so lucky, towards the end our sex life did kinda drop to a hault and she was spending less and less time with me, she was going out with mates etc and finding excuses not to see me, and although i knew somthing was wrong she continued to say she loved me etc. I know for a fact she wouldn't of cheated, i know its a strange thing to say you KNOW, but she isn't that type of person, and our circle of friends wouldn't allowed it to happen. Towards the end it did become more like we was married and i did try to slow things down and make it more coupley with dates dinner out more often etc.
Thanks For reading.