her sex drive has dropped

[RichardT]

Hi, when I first met my girlfriend we had sex basically every day. I think in the first few years the longest break between sex was 4 days. Then we had a child (who is now 3), and ever since then her libido has been really low.

We have sex every 1-2 weeks. I would describe our relationship as very happy and without problems. She is a live at home mother who doesn't need to work. I regularly wash and dry clothes, do the dishes etc. Every night I bath and put our child to bed and definitely do my share of housework.

I tell her I love her and everything about the relationship is great except for sex. It's great when we have it. But I was used to having sex basically every day and so was she and then she has changed. Its so frustrating! I find it hard to bring it up with her for fear of the sexual frequency getting even worse. What can I do?

[whaywardj]

Talk about it with her and do most of the adjusting. Start adjusting by being more seductive. It's fairly common for a woman's libido to change after becoming a mother. A lot of her conscious and unconscious attention is being devoted to that. Don't try change it. It's just a fact. But if you get more creative with your overtures and more interesting with your performance, you'll very likely both reach a happy medium. Probably won't be what it was, but it will be wholly gratifying nonetheless.

Unless you've got performance issues and simply MUST INSIST on having sex everyday just to prove to yourself you can.

[RichardT]

Talk about it with her and do most of the adjusting. Start adjusting by being more seductive. It's fairly common for a woman's libido to change after becoming a mother. A lot of her conscious and unconscious attention is being devoted to that. Don't try change it. It's just a fact. But if you get more creative with your overtures and more interesting with your performance, you'll very likely both reach a happy medium. Probably won't be what it was, but it will be wholly gratifying nonetheless.

Unless you've got performance issues and simply MUST INSIST on having sex everyday just to prove to yourself you can.

Thanks for the reply. I don't have performance issues, when we actually have sex it's really great and we are both very satisfied. And I don't have to have sex every day (although it would be nice!). Even twice a week would be good. But I find myself jerking off 10 times to every once I have sex. It should be the other way around.

Yeah I guess I haven't tried anything different in terms of romance for a while, maybe that's why she rarely wants sex.

One of my mates has had to wait for months for sex from his wife. So I know things could be worse.

[mini696]

One of my mates has had to wait for months for sex from his wife.

Grounds for seperation IMO. Unless you can get it elsewhere.

[whaywardj]

Can never hurt and almost always helps to put "the pursuit" back into play. Good luck.

[Only-virgins]

Grounds for seperation IMO. Unless you can get it elsewhere.

My opinion as well.

[shh!]

Hey, Richard - I've been the mother of a 3-year old. Whaywardj is very correct about the change in libido after giving birth, it is hormonal (probably some sort of built-in birth control device) but it is only temporary. Hang in there if everything else is OK. 3 year olds are physically exhausting, and as much as we love them, they are climbing on us all day long and whining about their 1000 needs that must be met. At the end of the day, and I apologize for being blunt, the last thing on our minds is having yet another person climbing on us and demanding their needs be met when we are exhausted. You sound like a good guy, so I am sure she loves you. Follow whaywardj's advice to increase her willingness. Her actual interest level will probably increase when your child becomes a bit more independent.

[RichardT]

Thanks for that shh! This is something that has bugged me for a while and its great to be able to use this forum and get advise, I wish I'd done it sooner!

[whaywardj]

Good meeting you, RichardT.

[Asip4u]

Originally Posted by mini696
Grounds for seperation IMO. Unless you can get it elsewhere.

Originally Posted by Only-virgins
My opinion as well.

OV, you dissappoint me man..If you were with that girl you like, i always thought you'd be the type of guy who just stares at her and doesn't even care about sex..heheh

[Only-virgins]

OV, you dissappoint me man..If you were with that girl you like, i always thought you'd be the type of guy who just stares at her and doesn't even care about sex..heheh

I would be. Im not with her though.

[tisay]

I wish I'd done it sooner!

good luck!