Long story here but please any advice would be great. It about an unexplained breakup and me wanting her back.
I had been going out with a lady I was, and still am, truly in love with for nearly 2 years. Everything seemed to be going absolutely fine, then a month ago, out of the blue I got ditched.
I had seen her a week before (we’re both very busy so only got to hang out once or twice a week) and when she left she said she really wished she didn’t have to go home, and had been telling me about how head over heels she had been for me when we started going out. Seemed perfectly normal to me. Then a week later she sent me a text message saying we have to talk, and you can guess what happened next.
She didn’t give me much of a reason for the dumping, and all the reasons I have been able to come up with are not things that can make you change your mind about a relationship so suddenly. I never smothered her, texting her once every few days and as I said, seeing her once or twice a week. She had plenty of space, and didn’t seem to want any more attention than what she was getting.
Now the weird thing is, our relationship was quite slow moving compared to most. Only a month before she dumped me, I met her parents for the first time when she invited me for Xmas dinner. Less than three weeks before she dumped me, we had sex for the first time.
So I gather the reason she ended it, literally the only reason I can come up with, is that it got too “real” for her and she got scared.
When we met to have the talk she was crying the entire time, and told me it was the hardest thing she’s ever had to do. She said she cares about me so much and would hate to never see me again. She begged for me to stay her friend, to which I kind of agreed, but said I needed time because I wanted our relationship to be more than that.
A month has gone since the dumping, I’ve got on with my life but have been planning on trying to get her back. I am madly in love with her and even writing this brings a tear to my eye.
I was intending to not contact her for at least a couple of months, then ask her for a catch-up and see how that would go, but 10 days ago I got a head injury, and after noticing a post mentioning this on Facebook, she sent me a text message saying she had been worrying all day. I left it for around 7 hours, then got back to her because I couldn’t be that rude. I didn’t do anything soppy though, I just told her I was fine.
That message didn’t get in the way of my plan to get her back that much, but now I have another problem – We will probably encounter each other this weekend at an event at which there will be mutual friends, dancing and drinking involved, and I’m not sure how to deal with it. I’m still upset about the break-up, and if I see her with anyone else I will die inside. I don’t want there to be any awkwardness (I plan to tell her this straight away when I see her), I want us to get along even though it is earlier than I had planned, but I do eventually want to get her back. I am planning to look like I’m getting by fine and have a fun time – being friends but not giving her too much attention, but maybe at some stage of the night, mention that I still would like to be with her. The ball is in my court here really because most of the friends there will be people she only knows through me if at all, so I will be one of the few people she can actually strike up conversation with.
So my questions are –
Do you think I have assessed the breakup correctly or does it sound like there may be another reason for it?
Does it sound like there is a chance we may be able to get back together
Am I going about getting her back the right way?
Any help really appreciated especially advice on how to handle this weekend when I meet her.